How do stop a clown from laughing? Hit in the face with a hatchet.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it, no particular reason. Why did the hippo cross the road? Same reason as the chicken. Why did the Fred cross the road? He was with animal control, and a chicken and hippo had just been reported to cross this dangerous stretch of highway.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

thumb_up thumb_down +10

I tell the Doctor I'm having pains in my chest. He says that sounds serious and admits me immediately to the hospital.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

what is the difference between a black man and a white man? Their skin color.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How many chickens does it take for a cow to count on Tuesday? The same reason a horse got fired for seven plus one blue red green.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A baby seal walks into a club.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you call a flying Jew? Smoke

thumb_up thumb_down +10

justin beiber is having intimate sex with a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q.Why did Beethoven kill his chicken? A. It had contracted a serious illness. He had killed it as an act of mercy.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you get when you cross a turtle and a kangaroo? A hybrid combination of the two that is characterized by specific traits of both animals.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

An Amish man walks into a bar. He then orders a non-alcoholic beverage due to the temperance practices of the Amish faith.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

what do u call a black person by his name

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Yo mama smells so bad that she has no friends and killed herself.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's the difference between a BMW and a murder victim? I don't have a BMW in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Hey i just met you, and this is crazy, here's some candy, gent in the van.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's funnier than Justin Bieber dying in a car accident? Nicky Minaj being in the same car.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

My girlfriend told me "Give me twelve inches and make it hurt" I ejaculated prematurely and fell asleep.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Yo momma so pretty,she gets a lot of compliments.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How many mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb? Juan.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's black, white, and red all over? Something that's black, white, and red all over.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into a worm and finding an apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Three women are sent to heaven. Theres a blond , brunette , and a redhead. There are 100 steps to heaven and on every step god tells you a joke and you cant laugh. The redhead makes it to step 23 then laughs. The brunette makes it to step 67 then laughs. Finally the blond make it all the way to the 100th step and before god can tell the joke she laughs. God asks why are u laughing? And the blond says " i just got the 1st one"!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops