Q:John has 50 candy bars and he eats 45, what does john have? A: Diabetes

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How do you stop a train? You don't, unless your the conductor in which case you would hit the brake.

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how many times did lucy's mom drop her baby on its head? none, her mom died giving birth.....

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Austin is gay. He goes to River Road. And is a sophomore.

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How do you make a sandwich? You don't, you have a girl do it for you.

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What is the difference between a dead baby and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

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an emo kid walks into mcdonalds and orders a happy meal

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whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? Jews are productive members of society. -Canis

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knock knock who's there? the milk man the milk man who? the milk man who brings your milk every morning

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The dinosaurs aren't really extinct. Just kidding.

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Q: why did the blind man walk off the bridge? A: because he was blind.

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its all aodhan

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poop

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what's the last thing you want to hear during surgery? your wife complaining

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there's a blonde and a brunette jumping out of a plane, what one hits the ground first? they both hit at the same time because gravity pulls everything down towards the earth at the same pace

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Q: What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs, living in the mountains? A: Cliff Q: What do you call a girl with no arms and no legs, living on the beach? A: Sandy Q: What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs hanging on a wall? A: A victim of a serious crime, where murder was committed and the killer has a sick and twisted mind because he first cut off the man's arms and legs then nailed him to the wall with wooden pegs. Puppies.

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My dog has no dictionary. How does he spell terrible?

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how big is the moon? why the hell are you asking me?...dumbass.

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A doctor, a farmer, and a blonde walk into a bar. The doctor orders red wine because he knows it's good for the heart. The farmer orders a Piña Colada because he likes fruit. The two men wait eagerly to what the blonde is about to order. The blonde opens her purse and says "Damn it, I can't find my credit card." Suddenly, a handsome young gentleman walks up to her says "Don't worry miss, I'll buy a drink for you. What are you having?" The blonde looks up and says "Don't worry? I just lost my credit card!" In a fit a of anger, the blonde storms out the bar and doesn't order anything.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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what's 9+10? 19, not 21

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an indian woman works at seven eleven. this is because her son has one leg and she needs to pay pay for all the medical needs.

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What happens when you put the batteries in BACKWARDS in the Energizer Bunny? Nothing. Nothing happens when you insert batteries backwards

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Women Sports.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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