The king has three daughters. One day, one of the daughters comes into his room and asks, "Father, why is my name Rose?" King replies,"well, a rose petal fell on your head when you were a baby." The next day, the second daughter comes into his room and asks,"Father, why is my name Tulip?" the king replies,"A tulip fell on your head when you were a bay." On the next day, the final daughter comes in and says, "BLAJSFUAGHASRAKKKKKK." The king says,"Shut up, Cinderblock."

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What do you call it when the sh*t hits the fan? The sh*t hits the fan.

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If you like piña coladas! You might be an alcoholic

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what do you call a nun in a wheel chair? Virgin Mobile By: jb lshs

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Why did the kid cry? He had a frog stapled to his face.

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A Black man and a racist walk into a bar. There was a ruckus.

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What did Annie the Orphan get for Christmas? News that her parents are dead.

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There was once a family of tomatoes. A daddy tomato a mommy tomato and a baby tomato. they decided one day to take a walk. but the baby was taking forever so the daddy tomato walked back STOMPED on him and yelled "CATCHUP"

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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Yo mamas so fat she weighs more than other people

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What has eight legs and one eye? Two chairs and half a pigs face.

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What did the black kid get for his birthday?

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What did Anne Frank do this weekend? Nothing. she died in the holocaust.

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Brad Fuller!

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Q: How do you stop a baby from crying? A: You hit it with brick.

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A tree falls in the woods. A deaf boy, who had been frolicking through the forest, is struck down by the tree. He dies. His parents are ridden with grief for years, until finally the father commits suicide. The mother soon remarried and had two more children. Both died before the age of 15. She was a horrible mother.

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What would you do if the house you're sitting in now exploded? Nothing really, you would have died a horrible death.

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Whats better than 24? 25.

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Four blonds are driving to Disney World when they come across a sign that says Disney World left... So they take the left and enjoy themselves at the place many considered the most wonderful place in the world.

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What's black and white and red all over? A pile of dead, mixed-race babies.

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Q. What do you call a man with a shovel in his head? A. An ambulance due to the fact that he has a rather serious head wound.

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What do u call a black astronaut? An astronaut, you racist prick

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I'm trying to see from Adam Fantuzzi's point of view but i cant stick my head that far up my arse Daniel

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Marvin, was in the hospital on his death bed. The family called Marvin’s Preacher to be with him in his final moments. As the Preacher stood by the bed, Marvin’s condition seemed to deteriorate, and Marvin motioned for someone to quickly pass him a pen and paper. The Preacher quickly got a pen and paper and lovingly handed it to Marvin. But before he had a chance to read the note, Marvin died. The Preacher feeling that now wasn’t the right time to read it put the note in his jacket pocket. It was at the funeral while speaking that the Preacher suddenly remembered the note. Reaching deep into his pocket the Preacher said “and you know what, I suddenly remembered that right before Marvin died he handed me a note, and knowing Marvin I’m sure it was something inspiring that we can all gain from. With that introduction the Preacher ripped out the note and opened it. The note said “HEY, YOU ARE STANDING ON MY OXYGEN TUBE!”

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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