so a girl asks a guy: "if a tree falls in the forest, and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?" the guy responds: "trees dont grow in the kitchen, so you shouldnt be worried about it."

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What's brown and sticky? A Stick

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Why did the boy throw his clock out the window? He was furious because it was the fourth time that week that it failed to wake him up for school, and he was going to be late again.

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A duck walks into a restraunt and sit's down at it's table. The waiter asks what the duck would like to eat. The duck says "I'd like a tasty, healthy meal that will help me lose weight." The waiter says "How about the rocket salad?" So, the duck orders a rocket salad, eat's it, pays his bill, and leaves.

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Penis, eggs, mushrooms and tigers

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Roses are read, Violets are blue, I have aids, now so do you

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No Nero, you see, a great man once told me that happiness is not something you look for and eventually find, but something that you decide that you already are.

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everyone dislike the first joke on page one

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What's more sad then a dumpster full of dead babies? The live one at the bottom.

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What's green and has wheels? The Holocaust. I lied about the green and the wheels.

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My daughter is dying of AIDS.

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Knock knock: Who's there? Guy in the doghouse. Guy in the doghouse who? WILL YOU LET ME OUT OF HERE?!?

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Which is the smallest? A. Jupiter B. Whale C. Cow D. Bracelet Answer: D

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knock knock whos there johovas witness O-0

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What do you call a orphan with no arms or legs in the middle of the ocean? Scrood

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What is useless and over-payed? Our government.

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9/11.

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How many Polacks does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One. A person's ethnicity or country of origin, or religion for that matter, would have no bearing on one's ability to perform the relatively simple task of installing a light-bulb. Furthermore, there is no reason to use the negative slur 'polack' when referring to a person of Polish descent.

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oh my god! what? i heard this joke the other day and it was hilarious. ok, tell me? actually it doesn't matter i can't remember anyway.

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Your mom is so stupid, that she took an IQ test and was proven mentally retarded. Her family is devastated.

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What is 8===D- ? A jew with a lip piercing.

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you are as stupid as alec. lol neewb

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your mother is so fat that she eats a lot of high fat foods.

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The probability of someone watching you is proportional to the stupidity of your action

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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