Can everyone please stop posting shit about my girlfriend because it seriously isnt cool.

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How do you tell if a kitten is alive? Throw it at the wall.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who's there? Alzheimers

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Why do monkeys fly with their wings? Because Elephants tend to run out of battery.

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Yo Momma is Like a Prostitute... ...I pay her for sexual intecourse

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What do you call a dog with no legs? Disabled.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Trash gets dumped Just like you

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How do you start a riot in Mexico? Roll a penny down the street.

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If i was a painting... Id hang myself

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What's worse than getting dumped? Being molested by a crazy hobo

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My friends all use twitter but i dont know how to use it, so i said i will carry a megaphone around saying what i am doing at random times. Like yesterday i was in the library so i said into my megaphone "i am in the library" Yay i got 3 new followers, 2 of them were cops. Jokes From Blox Computers Corporation [Thailand] Bellow Joke In Thai: ?????? Twitter ???????????????? ??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? ? ???????????????????????????? ???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? "i am ??????????" ??????????????? 3, 2 ????????????????????

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? At age two, she contracted an illness that left her blind, deaf, unable to speak, and was considered backwards of intelligence. She lived in a dark and hopeless world of her own, rendering her unable to do anything, let alone drive.

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A rabbi walks into a bar, in traditional Jewish garb. The bartender takes one look at him and says "Sorry, you'll have to leave". The Jewish gentleman says "Why, don't you serve Jews in here?". The bartender replies "Of course we do, but we just found asbestos in the walls and we're closing for remodeling." The rabbi politely apologizes for making misplaced assumptions about the bartender's place of business.

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so theres this big moose, and it walks into a convenience store and asks the lady bitch "where are the potatoes?" and she says "ehh, down aisle 5" so he goes down isle five, and there aint no potatoes

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whats the difference between a mexican and a fish? one is a human being while the other is a fish, what did you expect?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Simply because he stopped and looked both ways.

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Friends are like potatoes. I don't have any potatoes.

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What is white and re(a)d all over? White paper that is dyed red.

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What's black and blue and hates sex? The 8 year old in my trunk

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Why didn't the women make her husband a sandwitch? Because she was struck by a car as a young child and was told she could never walk again. Her family couldn't afford a wheelchair so therefore she is bedridden all day.

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What did the fish say to the Asain man Nothing. a fish can not talk

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How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? The entire population.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To warn people on the other side that the sky was falling Why did the cow cross the road? Cause he had madcow disease Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? Cause he's Chuck Norris Why did the Mexican cross the road? He was on his way to America Why did the black man cross the road? He was just running to his car you racist.....after he had robbed the bank Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass

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How could you wake up Lady Gaga? poke her face

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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