It's Christmas Eve and your entire family is gone for 12 hours to by you presents. What will you do while there gone? By the time you figured out what you will do you will hear a knock at your door. It's the police they are here to tell you your entire family was murdered during a shooting at the mall. The sad part is you will not receive your NEW Beats, your Xbox 1, or your make up.

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Why did the man cry when he was surrounded by black men? He got a call saying his mother had just died.

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A man walks into a bar and orders an alcoholic beverage. The bartender serves him and inquires about the man's day. The man says nothing, drinks his beverage, pays his tab and walks out.

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Two men walk into a bar. They get drunk and leave. 2 hours later there's a newscast about two drunken men who died in a car accident. It wasn't them, the newscast about them came shortly after

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Q: What can you never see in the light, but you can in the dark? A: Darkness.

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knock knock father: who's there? young man: it's I, your son. father: ....... what? young man: dad let me in, I'm sorry! father: i don't have a son.... young man: but.... i love you... father: get off my porch, my son is dead to me. (whimper, fading footsteps)

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What can move people but not rocks.. Poop

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whats funny about female tennage life? SELF HARM OOOOO YEAHHHH

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What is black and blue and really is not in the mood for sex? The new girl at the women's shelter.

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a black man and a squirrel get hit on two different roads what's the difference? well for starters theyre two different species. a squirrel is much smaller than a human and has his own mark on society. the man will be missed dearly by his family and if the impact with the car wasnt bad, he may have a chance to make it out alive at the hospital. the squirrel however is not so lucky. it will be left to die on the street or would have died on impact already with sadly no squirrel hospital to tend to it.

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whats the best thing about polio...death

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Why can you punish cows but not fish? Because you can ground beef, but not fish!

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What time do you go to the dentist? Depends on the appointment.

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Why can't black people swim? Cause poop don't float!

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What's black, white and red all over? A nun that fell down a flight of stairs

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FREE SEX! Now that I have your attention.............

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side.

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Why did the chicken cross the road?? So he could tell me to tell this joke to everybody and therefore prevent the universe from exploding

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Roses are blue Violets are red I shot your valentine Straight in the head

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand. He didn't say anything because ducks can't talk.

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Why did the girl fall off of her highchair? Her father threw an axe at her.

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms.

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Why did the man's legs start shaking when he saw the attractive women? There was an earthquake

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Wanna hear a joke? Twilight

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops