What did the kid say when his parents were killed? Nothing. He's a vegetable

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what do you call some one with no arms and no legs? names.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was the most direct path to his destination.

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what's the best way to eat a dead baby? stewed into chili with jalepeno cheddar corn bread on the side

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A. Knock Knock. B. Who's there? A. Orange. B. Orange who? A. Orange you glad your retarded because you think oranges can talk?

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What did little Timmy get his grandmother for Christmas? A coffin

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What does AIDS smell like? AIDS has no smell. AIDS is a diease contracted though sexual contact with another being with the diease. It greatly increases the risk of infections and malignancy. Although AIDS has no smell, in the final stages large sores develope on the surface of the skin. This means you are going to die. Thus, HIV/AIDS has no smell.

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I don't know about anybody else, but I just watched a part of a My Little Pony episode, and there's something about them that makes you want to come back and watch more. It's wierd, like mind control. Has anyone noticed this?

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A blind man walks into a bar. And a table. And a chair.

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I just flew here from Cleveland, and boy are my arms tired! The people on either side of me were hogging the armrests, so I had to kind of tuck my arms up behind my head and it was very uncomfortable.

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Q: What do a duck and a bicycle have in common? A: They both have handlebars except for the duck!

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My did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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A child is in the grocery checkout with their parents. It sees the candy display and asks for a pack of Reese's. When the parents do not grant the child's request, they begin to scream and cry. When they arrive home, the child is beaten with a copper rod. The new puppy that the child got for a birthday present is hanged and fed to buzzards.

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Who would win in a chess duel between Ender Wiggin and Artemis Fowl? Artemis Fowl will calculate the optimal path to move his pieces. Ender Wiggin will calculate the optimal path to kill the queen, so all the other pieces just sort of fall down.

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What did the amputee get for Christmas? Shot.

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They had several drinks, conversed animatedly, and heartily enjoyed themselves.

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This is a stupid joke. Get it to the top of the list and Kobe Bryant will pass to you.

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Excuse me waiter! What the hell is this fly doing on my soup? I believe it's swimming on it, sir.

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What did the hobo get for Christmas? Nothing

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A duck walks in wal-mart and buys stuff. The cashier ask how hes going to pay and the duck said just put it on my bill.

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whats worse than school? Summer school

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"Doctor, doctor, I am having a hard time controlling my muscles!" "It's Lesche-Nyhan Syndrome, this is a genetic terminal illness...i'm sorry."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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