How is pinocchio's nose like a penis? They're nothing alike.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A man goes and buys a head of cabbage. The cabbage had a worm in it. When the man saw the worm, he threw out the cabbage and bought a new one the next time he went to the grocery store.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What time do you go to the dentist? Depends on the appointment.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's black, white and red all over? A nun that fell down a flight of stairs

thumb_up thumb_down +1

FREE SEX! Now that I have your attention.............

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the chicken cross the road?? So he could tell me to tell this joke to everybody and therefore prevent the universe from exploding

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why can't black people swim? Cause poop don't float!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

knock knock father: who's there? young man: it's I, your son. father: ....... what? young man: dad let me in, I'm sorry! father: i don't have a son.... young man: but.... i love you... father: get off my porch, my son is dead to me. (whimper, fading footsteps)

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Two men walk into a bar. They get drunk and leave. 2 hours later there's a newscast about two drunken men who died in a car accident. It wasn't them, the newscast about them came shortly after

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What can move people but not rocks.. Poop

thumb_up thumb_down +1

a black man and a squirrel get hit on two different roads what's the difference? well for starters theyre two different species. a squirrel is much smaller than a human and has his own mark on society. the man will be missed dearly by his family and if the impact with the car wasnt bad, he may have a chance to make it out alive at the hospital. the squirrel however is not so lucky. it will be left to die on the street or would have died on impact already with sadly no squirrel hospital to tend to it.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q: What can you never see in the light, but you can in the dark? A: Darkness.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What is black and blue and really is not in the mood for sex? The new girl at the women's shelter.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

whats the best thing about polio...death

thumb_up thumb_down +1

whats funny about female tennage life? SELF HARM OOOOO YEAHHHH

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why can you punish cows but not fish? Because you can ground beef, but not fish!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the girl fall off of her highchair? Her father threw an axe at her.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the man's legs start shaking when he saw the attractive women? There was an earthquake

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Wanna hear a joke? Twilight

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A woman buys a man a Valentine's Day present.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the psycho killer order for dessert? Ice Cream.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops