your mothers so over weight that when she jumps in a pool she displaces a proportionately larger volume of water then someone with less body mass.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

"33"

thumb_up thumb_down +24

roses are red. violets are violet...

thumb_up thumb_down +24

what do you call the man making meth in his basement? the police to stop inappropriate behavior from reaching the children of society.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was making a suicide attempt.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because 7 ate 9.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What's the difference between a Watermelon and a baby? One is fun to smash with a sledgehammer, the other is a watermelon.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

How do you tell if a girl is pregant? Stick a banana up her vagina pull it out and see if it has a bite on it

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Whats the difference between a sack of babies and a sandwich? A Sand which floats when you put it into a large body of water.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the girl fall off the swing? She didn't have arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

why did the girl say what's up. she wanted to know what they were doing

thumb_up thumb_down +22

The Barackness Monster

thumb_up thumb_down +22

How do you kill a blonde? There are countless ways to complete such a task all of which have infinite variations.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side!

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Who were the fastest readers of all time? The victims of 9/11. They went through over 87 stories in less than 2 1/2 minutes.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Doctor, doctor, it hurts when I hit my head with a hammer!! Dont hit your head with a hammer anymore.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

How do you get 100 midgets into a mini? You have to manufacture a mini big enough to accommodate 100 midgets. It won't be street legal, but at least your problem with fitting the midgets in the mini is solved.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Q: What's blue and smells like baby. A: A choking baby.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

hey! Wanna hear a bird joke? No. Well this is Hawkward....

thumb_up thumb_down +22

-Hey I know something funnier than 24, ---What? -25! Hey I know something funnier than 25. ---What? -The Holocaust!

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Knock knock. Who's there? Louis. Louis? Go away!!! Your jokes are so bad! Geez, you guys really don't like me. GET OUT!!! (Door slams; Louis shuffles away with a sad look on his face) -Louis

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A Chinese man walks into a bar. With his thick accent, he finds it difficult to order drinks.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

How to apply total justice 1: Kill all humans! Moral: "Why do I have to die while he gets to live? Nobody gets to live? Sounds fair and just to me!"

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Whats worse than bitting into a apple and finding a worm? Being the worm who just lost nearly half his whole house because some jerk decided to eat an apple on the ground, whom after eating the apple destroyed the worms self-esteem by making the comparison to the worse thing possible. Or being raped by Zeus in the form of a worm.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops