A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 30 years later he would gamble away his family's life savings and then go onto live a long and unfulfilled life.

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What happened to truck full of watermelons careening down the hill? After panicking, the driver was able to gain composure, and shifting the truck into a lower gear, was able to deliver the track safely to the side of the road at the bottom of the ill, where he sat down alongside of the road under the shade of an apple tree, sucking on delicious watermelon.

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What is blue and feels like a shirt? A blue shirt.

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Q. What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? A. Robin, get in the car.

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How many Weasleys does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 2

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If you beat Chuck Norris in arm wrestling, you will be proud of yourself and he will go home with nothing.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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I'm a white rapper I do it all the time Folks don't like me cuz my words don't match

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How many anti-jokes does it take to change a light bulb? Since anti-jokes are not concrete objects, any change would have to occur metaphorically or abstractly. The number of anti-jokes required would then be irrelevant.

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How did the two blondes stay alive at the bottom of a pool for half an hr? They didn't and they died.

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You're at a funeral & your phone goes off and the ringtone is dead and gone

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is legally blind.

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NEVER

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Your momma's so fat that she has a body fat percentage of 37 and is clinically overweight.

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my mom died because she was morbidly obese

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What happened to the boy with cancer? He died.

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What do you do when life gives you Oranges? You make lemonade and life wonders how you did it

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If 32x=8600, find x. ^ | There it is!

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A blind was staring at a girls ass. Her boyfriend promptly bludgeoned the man unaware of his illness.

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guest what i love pancakes

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Why did little Jimmy cry when his Rolls Royce got destroyed? Because his parents were in it.

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A middle aged bald man goes to Chuck E. Cheese with a hood and a lump in his back pocket. He has a somewhat enjoyable time with his offspring and leaves.

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Moooo

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What did the white guy tell the black guy? You are my equal and, as such, are entitled to the same things I am.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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