What's the difference between jelly and jam? You can't jelly my dick down your throat.

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What do you call your female dog? Your bitch

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What does Chuck Noris have under his beard? A chin

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Q: How do you drown a black guy? A: Hold his head underwater and sit on his back.

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slaughter the mussies #EDL

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why did kim kardashian get divorced? because she was unhappy with her marrige. and because shes a slut

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What's the difference between contemporary Christian music?

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when there's trouble lurking in your neighbourhood, who you gonna call? The local authorities.

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A bear wakes up from hibernation and is hungry. He sees a nearby forest cabin and decides to see if he can find food inside. The bear breaks into the cabin and thus the people staying there frantically run away to call animal control.

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So tell me what’s worse than a baby? A dead baby… Well then what’s worse than a dead baby? A pile of dead babies… And what’s worse than a pile of dead babies? A live baby sitting on top of a pile of dead babies… And what’s worse than a live baby sitting on top of a pile of dead babies? A live baby eating it’s way out of a pile of dead babies…

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Why did the black kid fail his math test? Because he had down syndrome

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i have alzheimer's, so i forgot the punchline to this joke

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What does a Chinese girl get for Christmas? New parents...

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Q. What happened first The Tree or The Apple. A. Johny Appleseed.

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Why did the penguin die? He was anti-social and would rather die than huddle. So he died. THE END

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Poop!!

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What did the bar say to the man? Nothing, bars can't talk

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What did the cat say to the dog? Nothing, animals are in capable of formal cumunication.

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a pornstar comes early to a party

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How do you make a Cowboy cry? You kill his family.

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Q:What happened after the snake tricked Adam and Eve into eating fruit from the tree of wisdom? A: Nothing, but the three of knowledge was a whole other story though. Moral Man.

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why wouldn't the printer work? because there was an animal in it.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Six isn't actually afraid of seven. It is true that seven devoured nine's carcass, but one has to understand that cannibalism is not a taboo in their culture. It is ignorant and offensive to judge the world of cardinal numbers, where protein is precious and leaving corpses to rot is dangerously unsanitary, by the standards of human societies.

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columbus laid an egg. he was very proud of it, but the other dudes ate it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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