If your scared of paedophiles..... grow up

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Knock Knock Whose there? Yes I am a convicted child molester and by state law I must go door-to-door explaining the many cruel and vigorous crimes I have committed.

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Batman and Superman switched sidekicks. Superman didn't want Robin.

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An old lady at an atm told me to check her balance So i pushed her over

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What did the turtle say to the hare? Nothing. Animals can't speak.

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Why was the pizza mad? Because he was going thorough a growth spurt and the testosterone got to him.

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A man walks into a bar with a pack of Marlboros and promptly starts to light a cigarette. The bartender rushes over to stop him. "Hey! We don't allow smoking in here chump! Take it outside." The man replies with a big grin on his face. "Oh no sir. These ain't no ordinary cigarettes. My granddad gave me this pack a decade ago on his death bed." He pulls it out and shows the bartender 19 stale smokes. "He told me that any who took a single drag off any of them would have their biggest wish come true." the man recalled. The bartender had a perplexed look on his face and yelled "What the f*** are you talking about? Get out of here before I curb check your a**!" The man was then hastily escorted out by security. He then died 4 days later from autoerotic asphyxiation.

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A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen and warns him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and otherwise damaging consequences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

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What happened to truck full of watermelons careening down the hill? After panicking, the driver was able to gain composure, and shifting the truck into a lower gear, was able to deliver the track safely to the side of the road at the bottom of the ill, where he sat down alongside of the road under the shade of an apple tree, sucking on delicious watermelon.

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How many pancakes does it take to fill up a doghouse? None, because ice cream doesn't have bones.

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Why did the bus crash? What, you were expecting an answer? I was asking you

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what do u say when u see your tv floating in the middle of the night? drop it n*****

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven's dad owned a shot gun.

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A duck quacks in a mountain range. No one on or nearby the mountains hears the duck because ducks' quacks don't echo.

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Why are there no aspirin factories in the Amazon Rainforest? Because it would be unprofitable to build a factory that requires a large workforce in an uninhabited area.

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your mommas so fat i like fat cows is she home?

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Do you like apples? Yes

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor.

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What did the man with Alzheimer's get for Christmas? Happy New Year!

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How do you stop a black kid from bouncing on the bed? Put Velcro on the cealing.

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What did the munchy alzhemiers farmer say about his missing tractor? Where's my tators?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To return to the roost he had recently escaped.

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I may have alzheimer's but at least I don't have alzheimer's.

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What's flying and eats rocks? A flying rock eater

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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