whats the difference between a pizza and a jew? Pizza is not human, Jewish people are.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

baby seal walks into a club

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did the hispanic say to the black guy? I'm not sure. I wasn't listening because eavesdropping is rude.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why, you might ask, did in fact the chicken cross this all too infamous road? His grandma-ma phoned the righteous bird and requested a visit. Chickens never displease their family.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

While on a business trip, a Jim got a call on his cell phone. It was his best friend. He was informing Jim of his wife's death in a terrible train crash. She didn't die on impact, but her legs were cut off by metal debris from the train car in front of her. She fought against the pain and used a shirt she found from a dead body to stop the bleeding. She managed to drag herself to the nearest road crossing, where someone drove her to the hospital. Despite her efforts to survive and the surgeons efforts to save her, she died that night as a result of excessive blood loss. After he hung up, Jim turned up the ringer volume on his phone because he couldn't hear it very well when it rang.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A Jew, an atheist, and an Asian man walk into a bar. They all have a drink and then go home to their families

thumb_up thumb_down +12

knock knock father: who's there? young man: it's I, your son. father: ....... what? young man: dad let me in, I'm sorry! father: i don't have a son.... young man: but.... i love you... father: get off my porch, my son is dead to me. (whimper, fading footsteps)

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a grizzly bear in your apple

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why wasn't there an elevator in the rainforest? The rainforest is not capable of managing an elevator because an elevator does in fact require an energy source which is also not capable in a rainforest. The rainforest is filled with animals and is not filled with humans which would make having an elevator in the rainforest useless because the main use of an elevator is to transport humans. The animals in the rainforest would not be able to operate the elevator because using an elevator for them would be advance while humans using elevators is second nature.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Knock Knock Who's there? Pussy... Do you get it? Think about what you just answered.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Sam murray got home after school one day, he siad hello to his father and possibly played some Avatar on the D.S

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Thanks superman! Oh this is just what a regular Clark Kent would do... Uh... I mean... Dont worry Superman I know you arent Clark Kent, I just wonder why you work for him all day... Moral: What? What moral? What what?

thumb_up thumb_down +12

So I took this girl into my room we got in bed, We got under the covers and.... We had a rather delightful game of scrabble.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the girl fall off the swing? She didn't have arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

"why did the cheese not go to church on sunday" "because it was jewish"

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Knock knock. Who's there? The bailiffs, we have come to take your house

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do you call a black man who flies a plane? A pilot, you racist.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Pete and Repeat were on a boat. Pete fell off and his body was never recovered. Repeat then handled the funeral planning.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

I see said the blind man to his def wife as the dog with no legs ran over

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A: Knock Knock B: ...

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Knock Knock. Who's there? What's up. What's up who? The sky.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How do you make a girl wet? Throw her in the pool

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How do you make a plumber cry Kill his family

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What is worse than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops