Feeling that your friends do not listen to your insightful conversations? BUY A PARROT! Teach it to say "Uhuh", and "Ahah", and "Dats coo!" NOW YOU CAN BE COMPLETELY APRECIATED BY A FUCKING BIRD THAT DOES NOT KNOW WHAT YOU ARE SAYING... ...BUT IS IT... APPRECIATING IT? DUUUUUUUN DUUUUUUUUN DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN! MYSTERY!

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what did the bear say to the fish? Nothing he eat it

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Two men walk into a bar The first man says to the bartender: 'Can I have a glass of H2O?' The second man says: 'Can I have a glass of H2O too?' The Bartender gives them both glasses of water because he is not irresponsible to serve hydrogen peroxide in his bar.

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What do skeet disks and Jewish babies have in common? Hitler used to shoot them out of the sky.

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Why isnt Gemma a Surfboarder? .. Because She was a Stillborn. Why isn't Kate a Ballerina? Because She's paralysed. Why isnt Tommy an Olympic High Jumper? Because He's a dwarf.

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ACT 2 CHAPTER 4 GEARS OF WAR 3 TICKER EASTER EGG.... MICHAEL VICKS HOUSE

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What starts with f and end in uck Firetruck

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Women's rights

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am disabled, so please help me poo.

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What's worse than dropping you're ice cream? Getting your face mauled off by a German Shepard.

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Q: What do the Terms of Service say? A: I dont know, I didnt read them.

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How do you get into USA from mexico? Climb a fence

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Knock knock Who's there? Dave Dave who? Dave Smith.

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Hey I just met? you and this is crazy I have alzheimers Hey I just met you

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? because 7 is bigger.

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Why did the man Iorn his face? Because he felt like it.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'll choke you with a hose

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whats long, hairy, and has one eye? my cat fluffy, he has cancer.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. A family is tied-up and screaming for help in my basement.

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Q: What do you call a black guy with his degree in dentistry? A: Doctor

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Why did the boy sharpen his pencil it was dull

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What did the chicken do before it crossed the road? Looked both ways and then crossed with caution while looking out for oncoming vehicles.

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Q:Do you know why Jesus would not be a good goalkeeper? A:Because he never played football

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WHATS A CRUM AND LIVES IN A SLUM ?? A BOY CALLED KEVIN CRUMMY

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops