Wanna hear a joke? Yes Then go on the internet and find some jokes.

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Last christmas, I gave you my heart, and the very next day, you're body rejected the transplant and you died.

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what did the lawyer say to the other lawyer we're both lawyers

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Johnny had 100 chocolate bars. He ate 95 and gave 3 to his friend. What does Johnny have now? Diabetes

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Why did the black guy get kicked out of the bar? He was riding a jack hammer

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms

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What do you call a horse with wings and a horn on his head? Drunk

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What's similar about a fish and an eagle? They can both fly, except for the fish.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? Poke her face

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Why was the Jewish man sad? His wife was brutally murdered, His chilren raped, Parents stabbed horrifically and stuffed with turtles and the doctor just informed him that he had cancer and was due to die 17 minutes ago.

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Whats Brown And Sticky?! My Shit!

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Knock Knock whose there brian Brian who oh because im chinese you assume my second name is Hu? terribly sorry theres been a misunderstanding, i was asking you surname, i should have been more specific! No it my fault, i dont know why i overreacted my second name is Hu its ok, what can i do for you? is it allright to come in for some noodles? are you paying? only a reasonable price ok then, dont see why not

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Wanna hear a joke? 9-11

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Why couldn't the little girl color in her coloring book? Her arms were amputated.

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How do you get a clown off of a swing? Hit him with an ax.

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- What's the difference between a squirrel? - It can neither fly.

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Person 1: "Ask me if I'm a rock." Person 2: "Are you a rock?" Person 1: "No."

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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Why can't jesus hold skittles? They'd fall through his hands.

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Your momma is so dumb she has to have weekly tutoring to help understand finding the value of x in an equation.

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What did the prostitute get for Christmas Money

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Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, I Love Chocolate, More Than I Love You

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What did the pilot say to the female flight attendant? He told her to never tell his wife about the time they spent in mexico or he'd bludgeon her to death with a hammer.

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cancer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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