what did Marvin Gay's father say to him before he died? "hey come listen to this 45 real quick"

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Your mum's so fat, she should probably consult her local GP to insure she doesn't die of a cardiac arrest.

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Why can't Stevie Wonder read? He has retinopathy of prematurity and was born blind.

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Knock knock! Who's there? The police your son died in a car crash.

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What do you do when you say shut up to someone and they say make me? Rip out their vocal cords.

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A: How many women does it take to screw in a light bulb? Q: None! They shouldn't have to...

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Why did the lebanese man kill his own family? He had cancer.

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roses are red, violets are blue, dandelions are yellow, tulips are pink, sunflowers are black and yellow, my dick is 13 inches long.

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Bob loves Anne. Anne loves Bob. No one cares.

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Why don't carrot tops souls ? They just don't

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What did the mouse say to the elephant that sat on him? Nothing, he died on impact.

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What's dried up and smells like potatoes? Potato ships and school french fries.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Why do I have a Virtual Boy?

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A Cadillac Escalade ran off a cliff with 4 black man in it. What's wrong with this? The Cadillac could hold 6 people.

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Q: How do you eat a dead baby? A: One piece at a time.

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What's more irritating than a half eaten apple? Some prick taking up half the page with shitty copy and past routine.

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A man walks into a bar, but it's really not his fault because his seeing eye dog led him right into it.

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What do you get if you cross a canine and a sheep? A Sheepdog. What do you get if you cross a cat and a dog? You fucking stupid? It cant be done!

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AAAnd that did not totally send a rush of sweet endorphin's up my spine, I think myself of as really really blunt, I value individualism rather than complete assimilation, I think that, if people want to hear my opinion, they ask me, and if they want to hear what they want to hear, they can ask... Pff, anybody else. I end up insulting a lot of people literally asking for it, but moments like these make it all worth it. I am also extremely superstitious, the catchphra states "Grain of salt" so I wont take your comment completely... I am just screwing around...

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My son won the lottery. I shot him so I could have the money.

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Who lives on 2324 Elm St. River Grove Illinois? And Goes to East Leyden High School? The answer is Ricky Krajewski. He is 16 years old has brown hair and brown eyes. 5'11" 190lbs and 6.5 inch penis(when erect). social security # is 679-78-6283.

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Roses are red violets are blue. A face like yours belongs in the zoo! But don't you worry I'll be there too! But not in the Ill be laughing at you

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There once was a plain Cheerio. He has a decent life with a low paying job and an apartment. One day, he decided to make his life more fun and started going to parties. He met some women and had a good time. He was happier and was soon promoted at work. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself, only to discover that he was now a Honey-nut Cheerio. He continued to go to parties and met a girl that eventually became his girlfriend. He became a manager at work and moved into an expensive condo. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself and was a Frosted Cheerio. He then quit his job and opened a club, where he became the most popular Cheerio in town. All guys wanted to be him, girls with him. At one party, his girlfriend asked him for some punch. He went to the kitchen but couldn't find any. There was no punch-line.

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nick ya honkin of b.o m8

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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