Why did the chicken cross the road? Because 7 ate 9.

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A man comes home from work and finds his wife in bed with his next-door neighbor. Furious, he shouts 'What's the meaning of this?!' And his wife answers 'A pronoun used to identify a specific person or thing close at hand or being indicated or experienced'.

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Give a man a fire and he will be warm for the rest of the night. Set a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

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"It smells like Up dog in here." "How do you know what the dog from the movie "Up" smells like? It's computer-animated and not real." "I...I think I have a brain tumor..."

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What do Ethiopians do for dinner? Starve.

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A young blonde walks into a bar and orders a shot of tequila. After about a few minutes she spots this very ugly man with one leg. The man just so happens to sit right next to her and orders a drink. The man reeks of cockroaches and he looks like a homeless man that hasn't bathed in months. They never talk and the blonde goes home.

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Why couldn't the kitten drink from its water bowl? Its face was stapled to the floor.

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His Royal Highness was hunting in the forest accompanied by his squires and hunting dogs. A man, screaming, ran wildly out of the brush and addressed the hunting party. He said, "DON'T SHOOT! I AM NOT A MOOSE!! PLEASE DO NOT SHOOT!!!!" The king calmly raised his rifle to his eye and fired, hitting the man in the temple, and instantly killing him. A squire frantically turned to the king and said "Sire! Why did you kill this man?! He CLEARLY said he was not a moose!" The King replied "Oh! I thought he said he WAS a moose..."

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What did Osama Bin Laden say before was captured? nothing the U.S. military slit his throat on site

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whats worse than being late to school haveing your family killed by an angry peice of toast

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Two muffins are put in an oven. One muffin turns to the other and says, "is it just me or is it getting hot in here?". The other muffin says,"HOLY CRAP!!!!! A TALKING MUFFIN!!!!".

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Why did the girl fall of the swing? Because she was shot in the face by a lone gunman.

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roses are red violets are blue I forogt what I was doing where am I?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was in a cage being carried by a farmer.

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what do you call a nun in a wheel chair? Virgin Mobile By: jb lshs

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Have you seen the Hobbit? Yes they're taking him to Isengard

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A man walked into a bar Ouch.

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Why was the blonde staring at the orange juice container? Because she was proud of her work as Chief Marketing Director of Tropicana.

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How did Jane fall off the swing? Jane had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Jane.

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What happened to jimmy when he stepped on a rusty nail? He died of of tetanus.

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its my money!, but i dont need it right away

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What's worse than getting a divorce? Nuclear warfare

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What would happen if nyan cats crashed with eachother? It would be a great impact, and we'd all be sad.

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What did the kid with cancer gt for Christmas? Nothing. He didn't make it that long

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops