The Charlotte Bobcats winning more than 10 games

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What happens when you throw a midget off of a tall building? It dies and the people below get midget on them

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did Kristi drop her chap-stick? Kristi was of the many children held in hostage of the Jewish heritage during the times of Hitler's wrath. At the Concentration camps they were not given the opportunity to maintain a healthy, average diet thus decreasing her body strength. No longer could Kristi hold her chap-stick - alas her frail little fingers slowly released the cylinder shaped tube and hopelessly watched it hit the ground. As it hit the ground, a cloud of dust swept over Kristi's body. At the same time Kristi was taking a big whiff of fresh air (just kidding, the air at concentration camps were not fresh - it reeked of acid) she accidentally inhaled the dirt which fled through her body and made her faint. She woke up and it was a dream, lol.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Sarah lost both arms in a car accident Knock knock Who's there? Not sarah. Roses are red Violets are blue Wow. Clever Knock knock Who's there? Still not Sarah, as she is in a serious condition at her local hospital, and so is fighting for her life.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's Red and Invisible? No Tomatos

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have Alzheimer's, Who are you?

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Your momma is so old that she might die soon!

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What does a black person call black friday? Friday

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why couldn't the kid get in to see the pirate movie? It was rated PG-13, and he was only 11. Plus, he had no money, and his mother didn't want him watching movies like that.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What player wears number 8 and plays for liverpool? Steven Gerrard

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Where did the little boy go after the explosion? Everywhere.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead... Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first monkey... Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Because he thought it was a game...

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Have you ever seen Stevie Wonder's wife? No Neither have I

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's green and blue that is shaped like the earth? The earth

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a WAFFLE!

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the black man have lots of money. He studied hard at school and got into a good university. He dedicated 5 years of his life working relentlessly and getting his diploma in medicine then went on to work in a private hospital as head doctor and neuro surgeon. He was very successful in his specific field of medicine. That didn't work out so after quitting his job and realizing he had wasted over 7 years of his life achieving nothing but lose of interest in his career. He then bought a lottery ticket and won 8 million dollars.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Roses are red, I'm tired... I think I'll lie down now

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What would George Washington say if he were alive today? WHAT THE **** IS WRONG WITH THIS COUNTRY!

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Roses are grey. Violets are grey. I'm a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Who did the Vampire bite? No one because vampires aren't real.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do you get when you mix a bulldog with a shitzu? One delicious smoothie.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do you say to a girl with two black eyes? Nothing you haven't already said twice.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops