What's the worst part about being a black Jew? You have to sit at the back of the oven.

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dude... what would you do if i punched you in the face? i would pee on you

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question:How do you call a Russian with Ak47. answer: Spetznaz

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What do you call a cow with no legs. Dead, the farmer cut them off.

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What did the blind man say to the deaf man? -Nothing, he doesn't know sign language.

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Jimmy and Ted are racing each other at the end ov the street. Jimmy is taller and thinner but Ted has more endurance. Who wins the race? A: the drunk driver

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what did the teacher say to the students when she was talking about the solar system The sun is very hot. At the core it is 15 million degrees Celsius or 27 million degrees Farenheit. Using a magnifying glass, we can see the very hot heat and the light of the sun. Please do not do that because it can hurt your eyes. This makes the light very bright and the heat is so hot it could start a fire.

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What do you get when you cross sodium citrate, citric acid, benzyl alcohol, monoethanolamine, sodium benzoate, gylcol disterate, FD&C Yellow #5, ammonium lauryl sulfate, methylisothiazolinone, fragrances/perfumes, FD&C Blue #1, sodium chloride, zinc pyrithione, methylchloroisothiazolinone, ammonium xylenesulfonate, ammonium laureth sulfate, cetyl alcohol, cocamide, guar hydropropyltrimonium chloride, 1-Decene, homopolymer, hydrogenated, trimethylolpropane tricaprylate and water? Head & Shoulders Dandruff Shampoo for Fine-Oily Hair

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whats long and stretchy? elastic

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Roses are brown, Violets are brown, it seem's that someone has been bathroom on my lawn. "Martha, I'm not cleaning this up"

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How can a chicken be dirty? It can be covered in dirt!

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What do you do when life hands you lemons? Such a statement assumes that life is an actual person, which is impossible. Thus, you do not need to concern yourself with what you must do when life hands you lemons.

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What's worrying about a middle-eastern man on a plane? The fact you are worrying about it.

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What's 1 + 1? Fish. What's 2+2? Window. pie.

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What's the best way to toss a salad? With a salad spinner from the home shopping network.

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Q: What's that white, sticky stuff on your mom? A: Glue

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What did Tom get for Christmas? Gloves, but Tom had no arms.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A fat guy. - Louis

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What goes in dry and comes out wet Gum

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What's the difference between a pizza and a Jew? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven.

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A woman walks into a doctor's office and says "Doctor, my water just broke." The doctor replies "Get off my carpet."

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A man looks both ways before crossing the street he gets hit by an airplane

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because the walk sign said to

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why did kyle and jake have sex? Because they were gay.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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