ANTONI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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How do you kill a blonde? Cut off the bloodflow to their vital organs.

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How do you make a professional gamer cry? You burn his house down.

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Rabid squirrels attacked Blake's face as winged pickles perched on Phoebe's hair.

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Hello.

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What do u call a man with no arms and no legs and is laying in front of a door? Matt

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we all know sammi has a penis

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Waht do chinease people and gambling machines have in common? They both say chink chink chink chink chink chinck

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yo mommas so poor she doesn't live in a house

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What's better than winning the paraplegic Olympics? Walking.

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What did the Muslim do when he got on the bus? He realized he was in the wrong place and got on a plane and blew it up.

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full house

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Have you ever seen Stevie Wonder's wife? No Neither have I

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust. What's worse than the holocaust? Finding two worms in your apple.

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Why was Abraham Lincolin President. He was elected by the people of the united states.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a bar of soap? You don't rub your balls with a Jew.

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The anti joke that repeats itself :(

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What do you call when you see a man murder 8 black guys? The police.

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A man on an airplane is extremely frustrated by a small, screaming child. He puts on his headphones and listens to music.

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Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, I Love Chocolate, More Than I Love You

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-Knock, Knock -Who's there? -Carl -Carl wh-wait... carl...CARL OH MY GOD!!!! WE ALL THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD ,CARL!!!! Where have you been? Oh my god... Mom's DEAD! When we all thought you were dead she hung herself! IT'S YOUR FAULT SHE'S DEAD, CARL! YOUR FAULT!!!!!! YOU ARE AN UNGRATEFUL PIECE OF SHIT CARL! YOU KNOW THAT? I hope you burn in hell.

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(SPOILER ALERT) The following are a few punchlines: "I didn't know what you did, but I stepped on a duck!" "I can't believe I just blew thirty bucks!" "Hold on buddy, I'm about to save you $10,000" "To get to the other side!" "Because 7, 8, 9!" "She had no arms!" "A fridge!" "I don't have Ferrari in my garage!" "The clown can stay, but the Ferengi in the gorilla suit has to go!" "And if it wasn't for my horse, I wouldn't have spent that year in college!" "It was stapled to the chicken!" "I proved it to him." "The holocaust" "Red paint" "A stick." "I wished for a big orange head." "No." "A bicycle is an object and a black man is a human being." "A pilot." "The papa tomato steps on him and says ketchup." "You left your engine running!" "That's what she said." "TV watches you!" "I think so Brain, but where will we get that many cucumbers at this time of night?" "Rectum? Damn near killed him!" "One but it takes two episodes and the bald guy dies."

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A flea walks into a bar. Nobody notices because it is a very small insect

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How do you get a fat man to drop a brownie? Make fun of him until he kills himself, and then drops the brownie.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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