Q: What's white, black, and red all over? A: The yellow brick road

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What time is it when a cow walks into your house? The time that your mother arives.

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Why can't we see the wind? Because no one likes you...

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Why did the dinosaurs die out? Because you touch yourself at night.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Actually they're purple That's why they're called "violets"

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What's worse than getting a fly stuck up your nose? Been alone in a hospital room with Jimmy Saville.

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Q:What do you call Black Jesus ? A:Black Jesus a.w. j.p.

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Why did the baby cross the road? Because it most likely saw a shiny object and wanted to play with it. Luckily there was no cars passing at the time but the parents should be more careful to keep thier child in sight and away from peril. That and the baby found a small piece of glass that could be harmful to it....

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Knock knock. Who's there? Pete. I'm here to tell you that your entire family just died in a car accident.

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Why did the girl fall out of the swing? She had no arms.

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What sound does a childs head make in a vice? I don't know, I was too busy wanking.

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Best joke: Okay so I got a joke for ya but it is pretty long so bare with me please. First off, you must have heard a knock knock joke before and you must have a huge sense of humor. So this guy walks into a bar and orders fried chicken wings with hot fudge and vinilla drizzled all over it with a cherry topping. The bartender says, "We don't have that." The guy thinks of anything else he'd like and says, "How about a bucket of turkey and jalapeños?" The bartender looks puzzled and once again says, "This is a bar..." The guy is now paranoid and says, "Fine, I'll just have a thick, juicy, chicken thigh but please remove any excess skin on it, it's unhealthy and I'm on a diet." The bartender slowly removes his apron and walks out of the bar shouting, "I QUIT!" The guy sits there on the barstool laughing as a lady bartender comes to him. "So sorry sir, what would you like? From our bar that we have available?" The guy stares at her, squinting. "By any chance do you know if you have the punch line to this 'joke' because I sure dont." Slowly the woman removes her apron and walks out of the bar. The guy grins, walks out, and says, "job well done today. Where to tomorrow?"

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why did hellen keller kiss a girl? another blind date

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What's worse than having cancer? Two people having cancer

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How can you tell Santa is racist? He doesn't give Africans presents.

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How do you know you're crazy? Consult the pink pheasent to your left

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what happened to the kid who didn't get what he wanted for his birthday? He committed suicide

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Why did Hayden Bryant walk down the street? Because he can, dont doubt Hayden Bryant.

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An 8 year old, a 9 year old, and jerry sandusky walk into a shower...

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was unaware that it could get run over by a motor vehicle.

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Womens rights !

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Two Irish men walks out of a bar

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" ding dong " person in side: wait aren't u supposed to knock knock

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A bar walks into a man... Wait...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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