Why didn't Valerie go on over to Amy's house? Because she's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Whats 1+1? Well,According to John Willemain's Business Analysis: Problem Solving Using Calculus and Finite Mathematics it's 2.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

So this one time at band camp... a flute gave me an STD.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

when I shaved this morning....... hairs went down the sink

thumb_up thumb_down +2

I SHOT SOMEBODY!!!! Said no stormtrooper ever.

thumb_up thumb_down

If you have a green ball in your left hand and a green ball your right hand, what do you have? Kermit the Frog's undivided attention

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A baby seal walks in to a club... That's it. That's the joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did the deaf, dumb, blind kid get on his birthday? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

when ever i finish a sentence say im a man Me :i met a girl You:im a man Me: i invited her to my place You: im a man Me: we sleept together You:im a man Me:she wisperd in my ear You: im a man

thumb_up thumb_down -34

What has wings but is often on the ground? An aircraft that has frequent take-off problems.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

the other day i saw a mouse run across my floor. i said "okay" and proceeded with my life

thumb_up thumb_down -52

What do you get when you cross a dog and a cat? A hybrid animal that can never exist to do each species own genetic make-up which would subsequently reject the other's. I.E. The cat would reject the dog sperm from ever fertilizing and the dog would reject cat sperm.

thumb_up thumb_down +141

Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Shes been dead for some time now.

thumb_up thumb_down +109

Knock, Knock Whose there? your friend Oh ok (opens the door) (it was not his friend but instead it was a giant panda who robbed him of his goods).

thumb_up thumb_down +85

Ask me if I am a tree Are you a tree? ..no

thumb_up thumb_down +65

Why does steve wonder always smile? He doesn't know he's black

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What happened when the dinosaur walked out into the rain? He got wet.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What was the reason for the confused looking woman staring at the can of frozen Apple juice for twenty minutes? Some cans are difficult to open: The little ring bit comes off when you pull it, and then you have to work out a new way to open it, which takes patience and ingenuity.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why is six afraid of seven? Cuz the chicken crossed the road

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? I lost my tractor!

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's the difference between Jackie Chan and Bruce Lee? Bruce Lee's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

I have no soul so I must consume yours

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A man is being followed by a large swarm of mosquitoes. He eradicates them by spraying himself with an insect repellent that has a high deet concentration.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you get when you mix a racoon and a human. A Smoothie

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops