A man walks into a bar. It was a salad bar, so he left.

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What's Worse Than Unripened Fruit? Crippling Depression.

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There were 3 guys named Sean, Ryan, and Eye. They were best friends. However, things escalated when Eye slept with Sean's girlfriend and Ryan found out. Ryan felt he had to tell Sean that Eye slept with Sean's girlfriend. Ryan went up to Sean and said "Dude, Eye slept with your girlfriend!" Then Sean shot Ryan in the head before Ryan realized what he had said. Game Over

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Some poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

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What is a person who can hold there breath for an hour? Dead

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What does DNA stand for? The National Dyslexic Association

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How do you stop your child from picking his nose? Cut his hands off

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Guess what I did to the clown I hit it with an axe

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Roses are grey Violets are grey Everything is grey I am a dog

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Knock Knock Who's there? Your real father. I left you when you were a month old and I have regretted the decision ever since. I would like to be a part of your life.

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What did Santa Clause say to Rudolf? Nothing. Santa's not real.

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How do you starve a black man? Take away his current food stocks, and means of income.

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A girlfriend told her boyfriend it soaked all the way through. She screwed up their art project.

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once you go black you prefer not to date any white people

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Why was the little boy upset? He was on fire.

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A black man and a mexican man are in a car. Who is driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken a month off from working in their law firm. The mexican man, Alex, had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. Rain had suddenly come upon them and a passing off-duty police officer had picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful rest of their trip. Alex, however never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months after their return John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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what are the three types of rings? -wedding ring -engagement ring -suffering

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Your family is dead, I killed them.

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What do you call a joke with no punchline?

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What is the difference between a boyscout and a Jew? Boys outs come home from camp.

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How did the fat woman survive the car accident? She had on her seat belt.

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It was a dark and stormy night. The whole family waiting for the phone to ring as they await for a criminal to give instructions. Then the phone rings... RING RING Jeffery: "Hello? Yes, sir. Yes, sir. No sir please don't! No, have mercy! Yes sir. No sir, no. Yes sir. Bye." Donald: "What did the man say?" Jeffery: "Wrong number..."

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Doris was putting up Christmas lights when he noticed the bulb's suddenly came on. He was puzzled at first, as he hadn't plugged them in. He climbed down the ladder and found that it was his son, Robby who had plugged the lights in.

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What's worse than a fly in your soup? Getting killed in a plane crash.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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