Stoner Student: "Imagine if El Nino and La Nina got together and started a family and had little Los Ninos." Class Nerd: "Yeah."

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What do you call Madeline McCann at the bottom of the sea? Drowned Madeline McCann.

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What did the man say before he killed himself? I am going to kill myself

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what did the man say to the sad woman? go make ma a sammich before i hit you again! the women refused and was hit again.

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Q:what do you do when a black guy is drowning A:you dont

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What was Dillon's old name? Dillon, I lied about the old name part.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? Blind.

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I just witnessed a horrible accident today! It was like a silent movie, but with SOUND!!!!

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How do you stop a clown from laughing? Hit him in the face with an axe

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Why was the black guy charged for murder? He killed his wife.

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Haikus are easy. but sometimes they don't make sense. refrigerator.

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Knock knock who's there? the police, your under arrest the police your under arrest who? BAM! sir, I'm placing you under arrest for the murder of your wife, anything you say or do can be used against you. IT WASN'T ME!!!! yeah yeah tell it the judge

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I don't know what was a bigger disappointment, the series finale of "Lost" or--sorry I thought I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket.

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A zucchini is walking down the street, when he spots a cucumber club on his left hand side. Having nothing else to do he decides to walk in. When he walks into the club all of the cucumbers stop and stare at this strange being in their club. Finally, after having one too many drinks, one cucumber decides that this ridiculousness has gone on long enough and it is up to him to say something, so he goes up to the zucchini and says, "Hey buddy, what's your problem, clearly you are in a cucumber club and you're a zucchini." The zucchini just looks at him, puzzled, and responds " A cucumber club? I thought this was a ucumber club!!!!!"... It's funny because zucchinis are dyslexic.

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A Christian, a Sunni Muslim, and a Shi'a Muslim walked into a government building. Turns out, they were Lebanese, so this was a normal occurrence. Thus, to draw any humor from it before first taking into account the weaknesses of your own government would be both unwise and unfair.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Nothing

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What did the starving kid say to the starving parent? Pineapple

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Whats the difference between a black man and a paraplegic? A paraplegic doesn't walk out on his family

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why did the chicken cross the road? cause kade touches himself at night

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A man walks into a bar. He says "ouch".

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you're mommas so fat that her doctor says she is morbitly obese and may die of a heart failure later in life

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A doctor walks out of the delivery room and relieves A nervous father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happiness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

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What's white, black and can't fit through a man hole? A nun with a spear in their head

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"Imagine a World Without Free Knowledge" -I'm not imagining, thanks Wikipedia!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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