A man goes into a bar. What are mangos doing in a bar?

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Your momma's so fat; She has a constant sense of insecurity due to the instability in her relationships caused by her involuntary obesity.

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What is blue and not heavy? Light blue!

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How do you make a plumber sad? Kill his family.

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How do you kill a mocking bird. Shoot it.

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead why did the dog fall out of the tree? because it was attached to the monkey

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Whats better then winning a gold medal at the special olympics????? NOT BEING RETARDED!!!!!!!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was making a suicide attempt.

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Why was the kid picking his nose. Because someone shoved a bomb in it.

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How do you give Salley enough energy swim against the river current? Add your own electric current.

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Q: How do you stop a baby from crying? A: You hit it with brick.

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There's a car about to hit me.

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What did Osama Bin Laden say before was captured? nothing the U.S. military slit his throat on site

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Why are black people so tall? Because their parents were

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A man came home one day, drunk and feeling horny. He proceeded to the bedroom where he found his wife just getting into bed in a lace bra and sexy underwear. This turned him on even more so he cuddled up to her and whispered seductivly in her ear before kissing her neck. His wife was not in the mood for sex so she shot him

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What's black, white, and red all over A penguin in a blender

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This is not a joke

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Did you know Hellen Keller had a dog? Niether did she

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A guy walks into a bar. He orders a drink and sighs heavily, waiting to escape the reality of his broken home, his cheating wife, and his high school dropout kid.

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How did Jane fall off the swing? Jane had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Jane.

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What do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? Intercourse.

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A boy wakes up in the morning and says i"'m feeling kind of fishy today," the boy's dad walks in and relpies "that's because you are a fish."

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Who were the fastest readers of all time? The victims of 9/11. They went through over 87 stories in less than 2 1/2 minutes.

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*Pretend your an orphan] Knock knock Who's there? Not your parents.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops