roses are red, violets are blue, dandelions are yellow, tulips are pink, sunflowers are black and yellow, my dick is 13 inches long.

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What do you do when you say shut up to someone and they say make me? Rip out their vocal cords.

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Knock knock! Who's there? The police your son died in a car crash.

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Why can't Stevie Wonder read? He has retinopathy of prematurity and was born blind.

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"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Chuck Norris." "Chuck Norris who?" "NOBODY SAYS 'CHUCK NORRIS WHO'!!!"

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Why was the comedian so funny? Because that's his job, and if he wasn't funny he would have to become a hobo.

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Q: WHY DID GOD MAKE ASIANS? A: NO FREIKEN IDEA

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Old Macdonald had dyslexia IE IE O

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A blonde and a brunette are falling from a cliff. They are going to die.

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two snow men standing in a field and one says to the other can you smell carrots

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A Mexican man is sitting in his mansion.

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Do you want to hear a joke? No.

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Black...

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There once was a man from Peru Who dreamed he was eating his shoe He then shortly died in his sleep due to heart failure at the age of 81.

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Roses are red violets are blue. A face like yours belongs in the zoo! But don't you worry I'll be there too! But not in the Ill be laughing at you

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How do you turn a frown upside down? You cannot do such a thing because frowning is the act of sadness. Therefore you cannot nor should not change a persons attitude.

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A bloke walked in to a bakers shop and asked for a loaf of bread. Certainly sir, said the assistant, white or brown?...it doesn't matter, answered the man, I've left my bike outside

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What did the little boy with diabetes get for Christmas? A shot of insulin; just like every other day.

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whats black and white and covered in blood Michael Jackson being stabbed

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you know what they say, Big man, Big hypertrophic cardiomyopathy, shame he died

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, most chickens are held on farms, but those that do roam free are afraid of automobiles so therefore they wouldn't go near a road at all. But if the chicken was located in a deserted town there would be no traffic, so then it would be able to cross freely over any road there and not get injured or mortally wounded.

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What did the ocean say to the black guy? Nothing, it just shot him.

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Why did the Iraqi cross the road? Because he was hired by the CIA as an undercover operative to lead them to a highly dangerous target in the small town of Aziziyah and was leaving the area to avoid the impending Pavelow strike on the town center.

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An asian man walks into a bar He buys a drink.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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