Q: what do you call a guy with no arms and no legs floating in the ocean? A: A very unfortunate individual.

How did the boyfriend react when the girlfriend told him she was pregnant? Nothing.. He already changed his number and packed up his things and moved out of the state

Where did Little Sally go after the bombing? Everywhere.

Why did the man get a haircut? Because he had long hair.

what do you call a guy who makes racist jokes? an insensitive bastard

Roses are red, my name is not Dave, this poem makes no sense, microwave.

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

Whats better then having 10 fingers Having 11

Why couldn't the kid eat candy? He had diabetes, so he could put himself in danger and possibly result in death which would leave the family torn apart and all committing suicide in a matter of 10 years.

Q. what is the difference between a black man and a park bench A. a parkbench can support a family A black man cannot

Two Irish men walks out of a bar

A Muslim walks into a bomb shop. Unfortunately for the bomb shop owner, the Muslim was a police officer. He proceeded to arrest the owner and the employees of the store, as it turned out that the selling of these particular explosive devices were illegal. They ended up in jail, and justice was served.

Jacob loves stroking his gf's doodle every lunch break. He was embarrased cause it was bigger than his.

Knock Knock? Who's there? EMS - your pregnant wife died it a car crash

What did Susie get for Christmas? AIDS.

Q: Why does an elephant have flat feet? A: From jumping out of trees

Knock Knock Whose there? Its John

3 bears walk into a market. A little girl sneaks into their house. Meanwhile, people are freaking out because there are THREE BEARS in the market.

Why was't the Elephant allowed on the Airplane? He didn't have a boarding pass

A blind was staring at a girls ass. Her boyfriend promptly bludgeoned the man unaware of his illness.

Whats the difference between a Ferrari and a bag of dead babies. I don't have a Ferrari in garage.

What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede. (do you get it cause the robot has no arms)

Why did the black guy flunk out of school? Because his socio-economic conditions and his lack of support from his parents didn't provide optimal learning conditions.

how did I get in your moms pants. I ripped them off.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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