Why did the child get an 100% on a test?? Because they got all the questions correct.

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I drive a 'rarri

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What do you have when you take the gun, badge and uniform away from a cop? A man in his underwear.

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how do jews pay for a $1200 Tv. they play $1000.

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How do you tell the difference between a bomb and an Asian? One blows up.

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Why did Princess Diana die? Because she deserved it!

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why does it take 2 woman with p.m.t to change a light bulb? because there both tired , feel bloated , and could do with a bar of choccy

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Roses are red, Violets are violet.

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A horse walks into a bar, realizes that he shouldnt be here so he walks out.

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Cleavlin has a shmaaala dik

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A momma cow was grazing in the meadow with her three calves when the first one asked, "Mom, how did I get the name Rose? "Well when you were born, a rose pedal came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The second calf asked, "How did I get the name Daisy?" "Well when you were born, a daisy came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The third calf mumbled, "LKJLSKJFSLKJLKSJDF" incoherently, and the Mom responded, "Shut up, Cinderblock."

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Knock Knock. Did someone outside the front door just say "Knock Knock"?

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What do you get when you mix a baby and a fork? An abortion.

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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Whats worse than 2 holocausts? 2 and one tenth of a holocaust

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Why did the black man die? He was shot

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mom:why oh why are you such an idiotic nuisance? bobby:THATS HOW YOU WANTED ME BORN!!REMEMBER?you asked the doctor to put something in me to make me so stupid i wouldnt remember WHO gave birth to me!!

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Knock knock. Whos there? Death. You will die in the next 12 hours from terminal cancer.

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Knock knock... Whose there? Patrick Oh hey, come in...

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whats long and pointy and guys always have to brag about whos got the biggest one? their christmas trees

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Why did the baby cross the road? Because it was stapled to a chicken

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What's Worse Than Unripened Fruit? Crippling Depression.

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What did the rapist say before the little girl got in the van? Get in the van

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How do you seat four gay guys at a bar when there's only one stool? Flip the stool over.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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