What did the girl without arms get for her birthday? A pair of gloves.

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split your ass cheek

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knock knock whos there johovas witness O-0

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Why did a boy fall off the swing at a playground? He did not have any arms.

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My daughter is dying of AIDS.

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Knock knock. *after waiting 30 seconds or so to no answer, the knocker concludes there is no one home and decides to go home to take his son to soccer practice and work on his taxes, and maybe call his mother to see how her foot surgery went* Who's there? Oh.. This is awkward, I forgot why I was here in the first place. I have to go. Bye.

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What did the little boy with diabetes get for Christmas? A shot of insulin; just like every other day.

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Why did the giant frog attack the party goers with a ballistic missile? oh where tos tart...it's, just such a long story, I don't really know where to begin, in fact it's probably better if you just take my word for it, no need to go into details. we just don't have time for that now.

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What do you call a white man takeing orders from a black man? Batman and robin

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What do you call two dog? dogs

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what did the man say to the sad woman? go make ma a sammich before i hit you again! the women refused and was hit again.

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what do you call a homeless man? poor.

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Knock knock Who's there A girl scout A girl scout who? A girl scout trying to sell cookies to support her alcoholic parents who beat her

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The probability of someone watching you is proportional to the stupidity of your action

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What did the ocean say to the other ocean? - nothing oceans are inanimate objects that are incapable of talking.

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Why does Santa Clause not have children? Because he only "comes" once a year

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There was an old lady from Ealing Who had a peculiar feeling She lay on her back Opened her crack And pissed all over the ceiling The old lady then lay in her own waste for over two weeks due to neglect by uncaring nursing home staff. Six months later, a hidden camera documentary on underperforming care homes exposed the abuse and neglect and the old lady went to live with her son and his family. In the early hours of May 14th 2011, the whole family were killed in a house fire that gutted the home and saw fires spread to neighbouring houses. Firefighters say the blaze originated in the spare room and was caused by exposed wiring on an electrical blanket. Forensic experts said that the repeated urination on the blanket would likely corrode the wiring due to the acidic content of urine.

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What do you call a woman in the kitchen? Her name.

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What did the starving kid say to the starving parent? Pineapple

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Dad: Blind side was the black kid who played tight end. Me: Offensive line. Dad: Sorry, African American kid.

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What rhymes with Hitler? Walt Disney.

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When he was a little boy, what was Chaz Bono's favorite Cher song? Chaz Bono was never a little boy, he was a girl.

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Why don't you throw a rock at a Mexican on a bike? Because depending on the size of the rock, you could seriously injure him.

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What do you call a fish with one eye? A fish

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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