A rabbi walks into a bar, in traditional Jewish garb. The bartender takes one look at him and says "Sorry, you'll have to leave". The Jewish gentleman says "Why, don't you serve Jews in here?". The bartender replies "Of course we do, but we just found asbestos in the walls and we're closing for remodeling." The rabbi politely apologizes for making misplaced assumptions about the bartender's place of business.

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Neutron walks into a bar and orders a drink. It never receives it because it can't talk and is far too small to see.

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why did the alien eat the cow? peer pressure

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A young boy recently saved a priests life. He found a solid lump on his testicle.

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What did the fish say to the Asain man Nothing. a fish can not talk

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why did mad is on home s walk becuaes a isnt a number

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what did Stephen Hawking say to the prositute? nothing, because he has a disability which renders him unable to speak

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What's blue and invisible ? Nothing.... Its impossible to be iinvisible and a color

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What do u get when u lick chicken Answer- Your a retard if you did not figure it out it is obviously chicken taste DERP!

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why did the skeleton drop his juice? Because he has no stomach LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLO

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what do you do after throwing a water bottle in the trash? Hug a tree

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whats red and looks like a bucket? a red bucket.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Simply because he stopped and looked both ways.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks him, "Why the long face?" The horse did not reply, because horses cannot talk.

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What do you call cheese thats not yours? Somebody elses cheese

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What do you call Madeline McCann at the bottom of the sea? Drowned Madeline McCann.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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...................__ ............./´¯/'...'/´¯¯`·¸ ........../'/.../..../......./¨¯\ ........('(...´...´.... ¯~/'...') .........\.................'...../ ..........''...\.......... _.·´ ............\..............( BroFist

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chuck norris threw a grande and killed 50 people then the grande blew up

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Alright then, call me sometime then.

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What is orange and sounds like a parrot? A Carrot.

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A Jew throwing a dime into a wishing well? Highly unlikely.

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What did George Washingtn say to is men before crossing the Delaware? Men, get in the boat.

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What does Mr. Newell have? - Diabetes. Mr. Newell has diabetes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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