you know whats funny... nothing.

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Knock, Knock whos there? Jesus Jesus who? Jesus Christ

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fallow me on twitter #ieatveloceraptorsfordinner

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Joe Paterno walks into a police station.

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What did the psycho killer order for dessert? Ice Cream.

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why do people play xbox 360's? because there poor people who cant afford a ps3

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Why did the little girl fall off of the swing? Because she has no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not her.

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Q: Why didn't the mexican get into the bathtub? A: He was already clean

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What did the skeleton say to the vampire? Nothing because a skeleton wouldn't have a larynx.

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what is the difference between joe diragi and jerry sandusky sabdusky only targets human little boys

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I grunt when I poop.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? HIVs.

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why cant stevie wonder read? because hes black

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A man walks into a bar...... He then wakes up in a hospital. along with a large bruise on his forehead.

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What would Helen Keller say to Obama? Wow Im really impressed that you are our nation's first black president. You're doing a great job. Except it would come out like DUUUUURNNNNNAFMKAAAALLLL

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Why do we bother living when someday we will die? To reproduce and watch TV.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't it got run over on the way there.

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You know I can, and I already have, as once the mind knows its getting certain medications, it spends the energy required in order to achieve the effect, this is what psychiatrists and those assholes would call "psychological effect". With that said, I am still tired, and the stimulants are waking up my ouchies too, so I think ill get some sleep and dont worry, I can sleep with any stimulants as long as I can use my mind. By the way, my "hypnosis senses" are not hypnosis by themselves, but in order to hypnotize oneself and other, one must learn to read body language and stuff like that, something which I now do subconciously because I am experienced. Alice is calm again, her hands are shaking but she is cold, I am pretty sure she is far more tired than I am, so I kinda ordered her to go home, this guy can type for me. Just want you to know that I am doing fine now, and that the PTSD is much less severe than before as my brain no longer remembers the voice and looks my parents had back then, so I just feel my nose getting punched and breaking, its... Surprisingly annoying, so ill get some sleep, if nothing else it will help Alice get better, and I wont lie, I need it.

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why wouldn't the printer work? because there was an animal in it.

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What's red and smells like blood? Blood.

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What kind of doctors would you call A 30 year old chimpanzee? I would say "Plastic surgeon" but that would be unscrupulous to the chimpanzees because the tearing off or "lifting" of the owners face is because they are just animals. And should have never been kept in captivity that long anyways.

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A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender if he'd would like to make a wager. The bartender replies, "no."

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What happens when you shoot a giraffe? It dies.

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Q:What did the giraffe say to the sunflower? A:I like your shoelaces!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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