Q: How Do You Stop a Bus? A: Pull the Brakes so it comes to a absolute stop.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

There once was a man from Peru Who dreamed he was eating his shoe He then shortly died in his sleep due to heart failure at the age of 81.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Roses are red violets are blue. A face like yours belongs in the zoo! But don't you worry I'll be there too! But not in the Ill be laughing at you

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What did the little boy with diabetes get for Christmas? A shot of insulin; just like every other day.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

How do you turn a frown upside down? You cannot do such a thing because frowning is the act of sadness. Therefore you cannot nor should not change a persons attitude.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

whats black and white and covered in blood Michael Jackson being stabbed

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Knock, knock. You do realize you can actually physically knock on the door instead of just imitating the sound effect with your mouth, right? It's actually way more effective that way. Just saying, since it's raining outside and you're cold and want to come in...

thumb_up thumb_down -25

An asian man walks into a bar He buys a drink.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What did the ocean say to the black guy? Nothing, it just shot him.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

you know what they say, Big man, Big hypertrophic cardiomyopathy, shame he died

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, most chickens are held on farms, but those that do roam free are afraid of automobiles so therefore they wouldn't go near a road at all. But if the chicken was located in a deserted town there would be no traffic, so then it would be able to cross freely over any road there and not get injured or mortally wounded.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

what did the man say to the sad woman? go make ma a sammich before i hit you again! the women refused and was hit again.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Stoner Student: "Imagine if El Nino and La Nina got together and started a family and had little Los Ninos." Class Nerd: "Yeah."

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What do you call Madeline McCann at the bottom of the sea? Drowned Madeline McCann.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What do Grant and Lee have in common? They're both black males

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Knock knock who's there? the police, your under arrest the police your under arrest who? BAM! sir, I'm placing you under arrest for the murder of your wife, anything you say or do can be used against you. IT WASN'T ME!!!! yeah yeah tell it the judge

thumb_up thumb_down -27

I don't know what was a bigger disappointment, the series finale of "Lost" or--sorry I thought I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

A zucchini is walking down the street, when he spots a cucumber club on his left hand side. Having nothing else to do he decides to walk in. When he walks into the club all of the cucumbers stop and stare at this strange being in their club. Finally, after having one too many drinks, one cucumber decides that this ridiculousness has gone on long enough and it is up to him to say something, so he goes up to the zucchini and says, "Hey buddy, what's your problem, clearly you are in a cucumber club and you're a zucchini." The zucchini just looks at him, puzzled, and responds " A cucumber club? I thought this was a ucumber club!!!!!"... It's funny because zucchinis are dyslexic.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

A Christian, a Sunni Muslim, and a Shi'a Muslim walked into a government building. Turns out, they were Lebanese, so this was a normal occurrence. Thus, to draw any humor from it before first taking into account the weaknesses of your own government would be both unwise and unfair.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why was the black guy charged for murder? He killed his wife.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Haikus are easy. but sometimes they don't make sense. refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Q: What's circlular and has two hands? A: A skinny person, i was kidding about the circular part!

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What do you call a deer with no eyes? Blind.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops