Why couldn't the kid get in to see the pirate movie? It was rated PG-13, and he was only 11. Plus, he had no money, and his mother didn't want him watching movies like that.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What did the boy with cancer get for Christmas? An amputation.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Roses are red,violets are blue you want me but i dont want you!

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Knock Knock *opens the door*

thumb_up thumb_down +18

The Christian Bible.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

why was the blind man walking in circles? i dont know ask him yourself.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

How many dead babies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Impossible, non-living organisms are incapable of moving and babies lack the brain capacity to understand how to screw in a light bulb.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

How do you drown a blond? By being an insane murderer!

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was unaware that it could get run over by a motor vehicle.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Rabid squirrels attacked Blake's face as winged pickles perched on Phoebe's hair.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Hello.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do u call a man with no arms and no legs and is laying in front of a door? Matt

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How do you make a professional gamer cry? You burn his house down.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A black man walks into a bar and treated with equal care

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's the difference between a Jew and a bar of soap? You don't rub your balls with a Jew.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A man on an airplane is extremely frustrated by a small, screaming child. He puts on his headphones and listens to music.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, I Love Chocolate, More Than I Love You

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do you call when you see a man murder 8 black guys? The police.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

The anti joke that repeats itself :(

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why was Abraham Lincolin President. He was elected by the people of the united states.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How do you kill a blonde? Cut off the bloodflow to their vital organs.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Waht do chinease people and gambling machines have in common? They both say chink chink chink chink chink chinck

thumb_up thumb_down +16

yo mommas so poor she doesn't live in a house

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops