Why did the Asian drive his car into a tree? His contact fell out.

So there's this crazy married couple in a old trailer down the road. They are both drunk. The man asks his blond wife, ''Isn't it about time we get married?'' The wife replies ''I wouldn't marry a ugly thing like you!'' The next day, they file a divorce.

What do you call a 400 pound man eating chocolate? diabetic

Hi, how are you doing? Good how about yourself? Fine, thanks. Nice weather we're having Yeah, not too bad Have a nice day You too

yo momma is so poor that she may not be abe to accumulate the right amount of revenue necessary for your college funding.

What's the difference between a black man and a pizza? The black man has a family of four and is working 12 hours a day at a minimum wage job to afford the high rent, the utility bills, and to buy the pizza to feed his family.

Obama says: I can throw one 1,000 dollar bill out the window and make one person really happy Michelle says: I can throw ten 100 dollar bills out the window and make ten people really happy The Co-Pilot says: I can throw you both out the window and make 250,000,000 people really happy tee-hee

What you reading? reading?

What is black and white and red all over? A Zebra that has been fatally maimed by a hungry lion.

Darude- Sandstorm

What's worse than finding a hair in your soup? Slavery.

A Black man and a racist walk into a bar. There was a ruckus.

How many Frenchmen does it take to surrender? Probably just one.

How do you tell if a girl is pregant? Stick a banana up her vagina pull it out and see if it has a bite on it

You ever hear that joke about Helen Keller? Neither has she.

Why didn't Charlie Sheen lose? Because he's always winning.

roses are red. vilets are blue. I'm getting hungry. make me some food...bitch.

Why did the black man fail math? He had missed many classes due to his mother's terminal cancer.

Do you know whats sad? Global Warming Do you know why the polar bears are dying? Aids

Whats the difference between a crucifixion and a circumcision? In crucifixion you throw out the whole Jew.

How to apply total justice 1: Kill all humans! Moral: "Why do I have to die while he gets to live? Nobody gets to live? Sounds fair and just to me!"

What did the walrus say to the Penguin. It said MAHHRGH. because walruses can't really talk

Q:Why didnt the stoner go to college? A:Because he died of lung cancer.

-hey sam look what mom gave me for christmas -what eli? -a new baseball bat -thats your prosthetic leg silly

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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