please dis this joke, I want to get to the bottom of the leaderboard!

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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*ahem* what? what. oh I thought you said something

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What did Delaware? A coat.

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There once was a man who had a penis that was so big, his girlfriend liked it a lot. A year later they got married and had kids, but then the man lost his accounting job and things went downhill.

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what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: Wheres my tractor?

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whats green at the bottom of a hole and covered in cookie crumbs a girl scout run over by a truck

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Ronan Parke, making Justin Bieber look straight since 2009

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What does the orphan say to its parents? nothing, orphans dont have parents

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Want to hear a funny joke? Me too.

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A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

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A man and Sasquatch are walking down the shoreline on the eastern coast, the man looks back at the foot prints in the sand, he notices that during the hardest parts of his life, there were only one pair of footprints, while in his easiest moments, he sees two pairs of footprints; the man is disturbed about this and he asks Sasquatch this. "Sasquatch, Although you have always promised to be with me in my life, I see that when I needed you most, you were never there. Why is this Sasquatch?" Sasquatch replies, "HREAAHAHG?!"

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Their is a stripper, a prostitute, and a pole dancer on a plane that is about to crash. They all die.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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How do you kill a blonde? Shoot her repeatedly in the face and then slit her throat.

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knock knock whos there open the door and find out

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What's brown and sticky? Turtle excrement.

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I told my wife she was like a fine wine She asked if it was because she improves with age. I told her yes All was well.

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How did the Jew escape the concentration camp?

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have 5 fingers The third one is for you

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the baby fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the koala.

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What did the guy who dropped his iPhone do? He went out and bought a knew one.

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I once had my heart broken by my first true love. I then died, she was convicted of murder and my family grieved over my death.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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