A mushroom walks into a bar. The bartender says "We don't serve your kind here." The mushroom says, "What? I'm a fungi." The bartender replies, "Exactly. That's a health hazard. The health department already gave two strikes and if I lose the bar my wife will divorce me."

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A priest, a monk, and a rabbi walk into a bar. They order drinks and keep the conversation to non-controversial topics.

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What happened to your face? I walked into a tree

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What's brown and rhymes with Snoop? Dr. Dre.

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A black person walks out of KFC

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What do you call a retarded black man? His name

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What did Chuck Norris say when he saw a cop -Hi

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What's flying and eats rocks? A flying rock eater

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yo mama so fat she decided to go on a diet :)

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What did the pillow say to the dragon? Nothing, because pillows don't talk, dragons aren't real and this is a highly improbable circumstance.

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Hi

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What's funnier than the holocaust? Nothing.

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What did the mexican say to the black guy? He asked if he needed some drugs. Why? He was a pharmacist.

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How do you make someone think your wierd? Pretend to be a panda.

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A girl and her family were walking by a cliff. Suddenly - due to a a part of the cliff falling away - her family fell over the edge and died. The girl ran to the bottom of the cliff and saw her family's body's strewn across the rocks, blood everywhere. She didn't have a phone on her and so could not call the police. She called over a man she saw in the distance. He asked "What's happened?". Just managing to stammer the words through her tears she said "My entire family fell off a cliff and died". The man unzipped his trousers and said "This really isn't your day is it love?"

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Why did the man sit down? Because he was tired of standing up.

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There are two muffins in an oven. One muffin says to the other "dang, it's really hot in here." Realizing that muffins can not talk the other muffin wakes up to a very hungry man biting his face.

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What's black and doesn't work? Half of Detroit.

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What's the only part of a vegetable you cant eat? The wheelchair

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was depressed for a long time and decided to end his life by getting hit by a car.

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How do you stop a black kid from bouncing on the bed? Put Velcro on the cealing.

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When I walk in the rain, I get wet

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What are pirate movies rated ? P.g 13 for violence and coarse language.

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A boy walks up to a girl and says "Do you like ice cream? Cuz I have a huuuuuge penis."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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