Text me back when you can. I can't, my fingers got amputated.

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knock knock whos there? your neighbor, dude im sorry but i swear i didnt see your kid on my drive way.

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If you are floating down main street in a canoe and your front right propeller falls off, how many pancakes can you fit in a doghouse? None, because ice cream doesn't have bones

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Yo mama so fat, that she's even bigger than the universe!

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Ask me if I like pie. Do you like pie? OF COURSE!!!!!

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In mother Russia you don't eat cookie. Dog eat shark. -B.Gill

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http://richardfigures.com/

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Why did the chicken cross the playground? Thats what she said

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why did the lady fall out the window? someone threw axe at her

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Why did the boy ask his dad for a phone? Because he had his head stuck up a sheeps bum

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Why did the cow cross the road? Cause it wanted to. Why di the chicken cross the road? Cause it was stapled to the cow's face.

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What would the world be like without 1 direction it would still be the world but just without 1 direction

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what's worse than a pile of dead babies? a pile of dead babies with a live one at the bottom eating its way out.

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Whats more ugly then seeing a raccoon and a frog f*cking Your mom

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Why did the plane crash? Why? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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How do you kill 23 kids? You put 24 kids in an arena.

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what does hi = good by cause person doesn't like you.

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Q. how do you get 50 babies into a bowl? A. blender Q. how do you get them out of the bowl? A. Doritos

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A man sees another man sitting on a bench with a pickle in his ear. He asks the man "Why do you have a pickle in your ear?" The other man replies "What? I couldn't hear you because I have a pickle in my ear."

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What do you call someone who copies a previously posted anti-joke without doing any research to see if it has been posted before? a lazy good for nothing rectum licking testicle sucking gonad gobbling arse bandit with narcissism issues

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Why, apples are the optimum environment for the worm species, offering a stable temperature with the efficiency of nutrition and comortable value, therefore in reality finding a worm in your apple is a healthy suggestion that the Global Warming effects on Earth have not yet affected the ever increasing innocent worm population.

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What do you call a black girl scout? A brownie

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Why do Native Americans own Casinos? Because it's a very profitable business situation.

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Knock knock Who's there Your Mother Come in

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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