The Detroit Lions

What's black, white, and red all over? An ovulating mulatto woman.

What did the Christian say to the Muslim. Nothing. He understood his right to have a opinion even if his religion is against it.

"bluar blah blah blarRR/ the stupid pointless part" dead people/ animals/ objects can't talk/ drive/ operate compueter, lol I'm so focken funni

9/11.

Why couldn't the man read? Because he was illiterate

A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

A Jewish man, black guy, and asian all walk into a bar. Can you guess which one got arrested? That's right, the criminal

Hitler Call of Duty Score Kills: 6 million Jews Deaths: 1

What's worse than losing your job? Getting repeatedly hit in the face with a brick after getting fired from your job.

How much does a Polar Bear weigh? Approximately 500 lbs

What did the cat say to the dog? Nothing. Cats can't talk.

What's a Mexican's favorite sport? It depends on the person. To generalize and select one sport to represent the entire race would be stereotyping.

A duck walks into a bar. He sees Khloe Kardashian sitting on a barstool. The duck runs out of the bar screaming.

What's big, red, and eats rocks? A big, red, rock-eater.

When life gives you lemons.... Don't eat them, because you're probable hallucinating, and you don't know where they came from.

What's brown and sticky? A Stick

What do you call five gay men walking in the same direction? I don't know the usual human does not take note of such circumstance.

Why did the priest fall onto the alter boy? Because he lost his balance

What's the difference between Jordan and Time? Time passes!!

goats are like mushrooms, if you shoot a duck, im scared of toasters

-What's long, hard and full of semen? -Since this is a play on words both an erect penis and a naval submarine could apply here

If anyone can read me... I am Michael Jackson and I would really appreciate if someone could get me out of this... box... I mean help! Where am I! I think I have been under a long coma and would appreciate any small boys digging me out... Moral: I hope there is no hell... for my own sake that is...

Two Mexicans walk into a bar, The bartender says your hired.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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