How many worms dose it take to eat an apple? One.

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Two guys walk in a bar, and they die.

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A woman walks into a sex sop, she buys a dildo.

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What's the difference between a badger and a TV? Alot.

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What smells like shit and is covered in cheese? Sean's pizza socks.

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How many licks does it take for a pedophile to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? Given a simple random sample of pedophiles, they will most likely have the same statistical standard normal distribution of tongue sizes and saliva efficacy as any other part of the population. Therefore, that question in regards to the tongues of pedophiles is irrelevant and remains unanswered.

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What did the smoker get for christmas? A bike.

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Whats the difference between an oven and a Jew? An oven is a manufactured and creates heat through the power of electricity or natural gas

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because no human can.

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what is brown and shaped like a tree?

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Women's Rights.

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What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede.

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one day a grape was in the sun raisin

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had already looked both ways and there was no traffic.

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Did you hear about the man who fell out of an aeroplane at 2000 feet? He was taking part in a charity skydive to raise money for his dying brother, a chronic sufferer of cystic fibrosis.

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what little black and can make a woman scream a womans dead roting baby

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? -- Because she had no arms Why did sally drop her ice cream? -- Because she got ran over by the ice cream truck

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How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Trick Question. Baby's aren't smart enough comprehend changing light bulbs

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What do you call an owl that is a magician too? Owls cannot be magician you retard.

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A man buys free health care...

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Hoo. Who Hoo? You're a barn owl!

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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You wanna hear a real joke? Well, look at the post below this one.

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What did Jerry Sandusky do when he was alone with 3 little boys? Taught them how to play football.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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