What's black, white and red all over? A nun in a blender

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What did the bird say when he was riding the turtle? Weeee...

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How do you get your girlfriend's yapping Chihuahua to be quiet? Throw it through a window.

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1Q: Quick! Ask me if I'm a lemon!! 2A: Your not a lemon 1A: :/ oh :/

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A father was driving with his son. The Son asked " have you been in a car accident in the past 10 years"? The father replys " did you know you HAD 4 siblings"?

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Q. How many blondes does it take to put in a lightbulb? A. Cause of 7,8,9!

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Q:How many pancakes can you fit on top of as doghouse? A:Purple. Because ice cream has no bones.....

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Knock, Knock. Who's there Hey, it's Dave. Oh well come on in.

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Q: Whats black and hangs from a tree???? A: A tire!!!!!!!!!!!

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A panda walks into a bar, orders some bamboo shoots, and bamboo leaves, and eats them

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Yo mamas so fat she's over weight

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Philosoraptor, turds IM A SPAMBOTz B=Not really, just blind.

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Roger D. ASS , stops, has a ponder , and walks out of a s.t.i clinic ,without being seen

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What do you call a unicorn that is both invisible and pink? The Invisible Pink Unicorn.

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Whats Do You call people, on the top floor of a Double-Decker bus? Passengers

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because the grass is always greener on the other side.

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purple pickles

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What rhymes with milk...milf

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Q:why did the lion eat the zebra? A: because it was hungry.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, most chickens are held on farms, but those that do roam free are afraid of automobiles so therefore they wouldn't go near a road at all. But if the chicken was located in a deserted town there would be no traffic, so then it would be able to cross freely over any road there and not get injured or mortally wounded.

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When Santa got stuck up the chimney he began to shout.. But he didn't shout for long as he soon succumbed to the toxic smoke and died of carbon monoxide poisoning

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What's worse than a dead baby in a trash can A hundred dead babies in a trash can Whats worse than a hundred dead babies in a trash can A live one at the bottom Whats worse than that It eats it way out Whats worse than that It brings friends

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? When 6 was younger, he was made fun of by all the bigger numbers. Everyday after school he would go home and wonder why he was made fun of. Was it his looks? How tall he was? The pain and suffering never stopped. He thought of suicide every day he got home from school. One day his mom got home from work and found 6 bleeding in the shower. She thought he was dead. She hurried him to the hospital where he was barely kept alive. After months of recovery, he started going back to school. The bullying never stopped, they started calling him a loser who should have died. He got older and depressed as a teenager. He got ahold of alcohol and began drinking. He went to meetings and got over his addiction. 10 years later he meets up with 7. It takes him back to his horrible childhood with the big numbers. Every time 6 sees 7, he gets reminded of everything. 7 had also murdered someone in front of 6.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am a gardener

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops