Why did the girl scream? Someone shot her mom

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How many wooden chairs can a black man staple to a whales forehead? 27 because Helen Keller does not like blueberries.

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Why does the man with no legs call for help? because he woke up to find that he had no legs.

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Why did the little boy cry? Because he stuck his finger into a blender

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A panda walks into a bar. He eats but then is tranquilized and taken back to the zoo.

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What's funny about your mom? Nothing, she died three weeks ago.

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Donkey lips

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4 men walk into a bar... Don't jump to conclusions! They were gay.

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And the Lord said unto John, "Come forth and receive eternal life." But John came fifth and won a toaster.

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Your mom is so fat, she got obese and died.

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What did the chemist say when his BBQ ran out of charcoal? Nothing interesting.

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A duct walks into a bar. The writer meant to write duck and then proceed to make a clever joke but instead a typo was made and a very unlikely occurence was writtern about considering air passages are not capable of walking and would most likely already be in the ceiling of the bar as too bring fresh air into the bar is important.

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Why was the 15 year old boy always alone in his bedroom making strange noises? Because he was struggling to fight back the tears following his single mother's recent suicide, driven by her despair over the reality that her son was an out of control drug addict, just like his no-good father who ran out on them.

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What's white and would kill you if it fell out of a tree? A refrigerator.

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What's black, white, and red all over? The color scheme. Except for the black and white. They're shades.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? The answer is not definitive and involves several factors including the size of the woodchuck, the woodchuck's teeth, the climate in which that woodchuck lives, and the tenacity of that particular woodchuck at achieving his goal.

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How do you make a homeless person cry? cut an onion in front of him.

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What's worse than finding a holocost in your apple. A truck full of dead babies then what's worse than finding a truck full of dead babies in your apple. Braving to pich fork them out

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Why couldn't the boy see the pirate movie? Because it was sold out

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If life gives you lemons, get some seeds from them and plant them. Then in a few years you'll have a lemon tree. Then take some lemons off that tree and throw them at people saying "Here's your stupid lemons, people".

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Want to hear a joke? Justin Bieber's talent.

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Did you hear about the man who thought his wife was trying to kill him? He's dead.

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Jim: You know whats funny? Bob: What? Jim: The 28th Amendment.

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What do you call a black person flying a plane? A pilot

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops