Why didnt little timmy have a pencil? He was poor

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What did the African want for breakfast? Ebola cereal

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you suck your own dick.

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what do you do to gay guy who wants to have anal sex with you? beat him with a steel baseball bat in his face.

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What is similar between women and puzzles? Neither had the right to vote before 1920. Puzzles still don't

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Why didn't Susie's dad come home on time? He was dragged into a dark alley, then stabbed in the eye. When his body was found 2 days later, Susie couldnt stand the loss and hung herself the day after her father was found.

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What's 2+2? Gonorrhoea

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What did the doctor say to his patient? Doctors are not allowed to give out personal information involving their patients.

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What did walt disney say to the Jew? Nothing. Walt Disney didn't know the man was Jewish and didn't have time to make himself acquainted with the fellow.

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What did the bird say on twitter? Tweet tweet.

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a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o q r s t u v w x y z i left out p.

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what is the difference between a black man and a bucket of shit? The bucket.

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LIFE :(

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"Lady's and Gentlemen, hobos and trams Cross side mosquitoes and bald legged ants Pull up a chair and sit on the floor and I'll tell you I've never heard before Of one bright day in the middle of night Two dead boys got up to fight Back to Back they faced each other Drew their swords and shot each other A deaf policeman heard the noise Came and killed the two dead boys If you don't believe this lie is true Ask the blind man he saw it too"

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how hard you throw them!!!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His wife and children had just been struck by a moving vehicle traveling at approximately 45 miles per hour trying to cross the same road. He ran across the road to comfort his dying wife and two children as they took their final breaths. The chicken was also not really a chicken but a middle-aged man who had recently been laid off his job and diagnosed wiuth an incureable disease.

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tom pauling

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

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Whats, red, blue, green, yellow, feels like popcorn, looks like jello, tastes like hydrogen peroxide and smells like burning logs? i dont know. i was asking you

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Your mom is so fat, she got obese and died.

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Q.What do you call a beaver with a unibrow. A. A beaver........it's still a beaver

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A boy says he is going to commit suicide. To stop him, a friend tells him not to do it, he'll regret it later in life.

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whats the difference between a fur rug and a pile of dead babies? i dont lie on a fur rug to pleasure myself

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What did the Africans get for dinner? Nothing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops