canaan and mallory

thumb_up thumb_down +5

why did the lady fall out the window? someone threw axe at her

thumb_up thumb_down +5

why doesn't anyone like reed? who cares, no one likes reed

thumb_up thumb_down +5

your mom

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's worse than the Holocaust? Seeing duplicates of the top jokes.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Uh no, yogurt as in the bacteria that they add to milk in order to make the finished product yogurt. You see, while the effect is seen in twins (for example if one twin gets raped, the other gets a fucking sore ass) Sorry, I am still under trance here myself, you get out of it, I am gonna have some fun, go splash some water on your face. I mean people go like "woah that is impossible it only happens in rare cases and so on right?" Fun stuff: Yogurt, you can seal yogurt in a steel container miles away after separating its culture (basically having a colony living together and then moving them away from each other as in 30000 kilometers and sealing them in soundproof safe`s and whatnot. Feed one half of the yogurt, and the other one far far away begins munching into thin air, now keep the food close to the yogurt, and the bacteria will begin "begging for it" (as in when baby chicks notice the parent has arrived with food), and so will the culture of yogurt sealed in a safe 30000 miles away. Why? Living in similar states, brings a natural connection, we are attracted to similarities, and as far as the human knowledge of the LAW of attraction goes, distance is not a factor, look it up, or just believe me.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q: How did the woman die in the black neighborhood? A: She suffered a fatal heart attack while visiting one of her friends. Everyone mourned their loss.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Last night I had a Chinese By that I mean I abducted some Chinese people and ate them

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Axel? Its Eliza, is that you? You alive again? I don't want to be no successor of anything, but thanks I guess. Neo-Nero has not shown up since you returned, I think he isn't very proud of himself and wont be a problem here on forward. He did push me aside, but now that you are alive, I wont even consider the thought of you "dying again" and unless you are dying or seriously ill, I don't want to hear anything about it. Seriously, how bad are you doing? Physically I mean? I am relieved, I mean we all thought you where dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What is pink, smelly, and sometimes gets wet? A pink sponge.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got ran over by a car

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why is 6 afraid of 7? 7 was having illicit sexual relationships with 9, of which 6 knew about, but was afraid to inform his wife, 8, who 7 stepped over to get to 9.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

a man walks into a bar the bar tender says why the long face? i just walked into a bar

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A: what does hellen keller say to her mom? B: nothing. she cant speak due to her lack of hearing and visualizing

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A spaceship enters a black hole. A spaceship enters a black hole. A spaceship enters a black hole.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

roses are red so are the jews every one loved that holocaust news

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Whats, red, blue, green, yellow, feels like popcorn, looks like jello, tastes like hydrogen peroxide and smells like burning logs? i dont know. i was asking you

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the chicken cross the road? To pick up the carcass of its road-killed younger brother and weep.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did Michael Vick run? Because he was being chased by defenders.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How many women does it take to replace a light bulb? Please advise. Thanks, Holly

thumb_up thumb_down +3

wanna no wats not funny........ aids

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the Asian man go to bed? Because he was tired

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why can't Helen Keller drive? She's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops