Q: whats the fastest way to a woman's heart? A: A knife to the ribs...

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What do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? Intercourse.

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Four blonds are driving to Disney World when they come across a sign that says Disney World left... So they take the left and enjoy themselves at the place many considered the most wonderful place in the world.

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What's the difference between a pizza and a Jew? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven.

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Q: What did the banana say as it was being eaten? A: Nothing. Bananas are inanimate objects and therefore are incapable of talking.

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Q. What do you call a man with a shovel in his head? A. An ambulance due to the fact that he has a rather serious head wound.

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Marvin, was in the hospital on his death bed. The family called Marvin’s Preacher to be with him in his final moments. As the Preacher stood by the bed, Marvin’s condition seemed to deteriorate, and Marvin motioned for someone to quickly pass him a pen and paper. The Preacher quickly got a pen and paper and lovingly handed it to Marvin. But before he had a chance to read the note, Marvin died. The Preacher feeling that now wasn’t the right time to read it put the note in his jacket pocket. It was at the funeral while speaking that the Preacher suddenly remembered the note. Reaching deep into his pocket the Preacher said “and you know what, I suddenly remembered that right before Marvin died he handed me a note, and knowing Marvin I’m sure it was something inspiring that we can all gain from. With that introduction the Preacher ripped out the note and opened it. The note said “HEY, YOU ARE STANDING ON MY OXYGEN TUBE!”

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What do u call a black astronaut? An astronaut, you racist prick

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What's black and white and red all over? A pile of dead, mixed-race babies.

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I'm trying to see from Adam Fantuzzi's point of view but i cant stick my head that far up my arse Daniel

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What happens if Chuck Norris meets a Transformer? Nothing. They would converse, then go their separate ways. Or Chuck would get killed. Horribly.

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Jesus was a good guy

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Why was Sally crying because a flock Of seagulls just took a shit in her head

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Knock knock, Who's there? The cops, your parents are dead and now you are an orphan.

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Knock knock Who's there? Doctor. Doctor who? Dr. Jeremy Brown, I have your results from the blood test. It's good news they came back negative. Hooray.

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What did hitler say to the bartender? Nothing he's dead.

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1 man walks up to a tiger and eats cheese toast with brownies and butter and wonders about the stars the end james

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What do you get when you have 10 kids in a church? A lot of rape cases.

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did you know, that a Bear has 42 teeth? massive erection.

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When life gives you lemons, chuck them at the creepy man across the block.

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Knock Knock Come in.

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Women's rights

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people on this site vote for anti-jokes that make them laughed

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420

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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