Hitler wasn't that bad... He DID kill Hitler.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How do pigs get hurt? They are run over by a tractor.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Knock, knock. Who's there? HIVs.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Roses are grey Violets are grey I live in Africa Give me water

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How do you get McFly into a Mini? McFly are a four member band and a mini has four seats so it's actually quite straightforward.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Did you hear the one about the man who fell asleep on the job? He woke up.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

a white kid is called on by his teacher he is promptly sent to the principle's office after not complying.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

roses are red and violets are in fact violet

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme But this one doesn't.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Whats worse than death? Living in Agonising pain for the rest of the life that happens to be reading this statement.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

When is it okay for priests to touch underage boys? Ash Wednesday, they have place ash using their hands on the boys foreheads.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Chuck Norris can count from 1 to 100... twice!

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did the kid say before he died Nothing he was terminally ill

thumb_up thumb_down -2

HURT

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he f**king felt like it!

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How many pairings of animals did Moses collect before the rain started? 1. 500 2. 50000 3. 500000000 4. Nobody really knows 5. It was Noah... Moral: Lol.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did the little girl with cancer get for Christmas? Chemotherapy.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Are you a psychopath? Take this short quiz. Q1. You live in an apartment building (about 10~15 stories). You were a student studying for an exam, but decided to take some rest. You looked out the window and witnessed a man killing a girl. The man saw you and moved his finger in a certain motion. Just from the information given, what do you think the man was doing with his finger? Q2. Someone is in front of you. Who is that person? Q3. There is a portrait of a man who went to war. He was injured in two places. Where was he injured? (List the two places he was injured.) Q4. A little boy received a bike and a soccer ball for presents. But the boy hated them. Why didn't the boy like the two presents? Q5. You're a thief. You broke into someone's house. The owner of the house saw you; you have no choice but to kill the owner. But the owner hid inside the closet. How are you going to kill the owner? Q6. You're a twin (and you're a girl). You were born before your twin sister. Your grandma recently passed away and you guys had to hold a funeral for her. At the funeral, you saw a handsome, young man. You fell deeply in love him... But, you killed your twin sister. Why did you kill your twin sister? Q7. You live in an apartment. You were watching TV, but someone was knocking hard on the door. You looked through the peephole and there was a man who was holding a knife. What are you going to do? Q8. You're the youngest member of the family. You saw your mom, dad, brother, sister, etc. die right in front of your eyes. But you stood still or did nothing. Why did you? Q9. You were very thirsty. You decided to get a drink from the vending machine. What color drink did you choose? ---------------------------------------------------- A1. Normal: Memorizing your face to kill you. Psychopath: Counting what floor you live in. A2. Normal: Murderer/Criminal Psychopath: a landowner A3. Normal: Whatever the psychopath didn't say... Psychopath: Eyes and chest A4. Normal: Already own it or hate it Psychopath: Doesn't have legs A5. Normal: Stick a knife inside and kill the owner. Psychopath: Wait in front of the closet until the owner come it. A6. Normal: To see that handsome, young man again. Psychopath: To have that man all to yourself. A7. Normal: Do not open the door. Psychopath: Open the door, take the knife away from the man and stab him. A8. Normal: You were going to die anyway, too. Psychopath: Because you were bribed. A9. Normal: Red, blue, orange, etc. Psychopath: White, clear

thumb_up thumb_down -4

a man walks into a bar after a long day at work, and asks for a drink. he finishes, pays the bill and leaves a handsome tip for the bartender and heads home.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer..... I'm going to rip the scalp off of your son and where it on my face to a Cherokee Sacrificial Ceremony The other lawyer was actually a lightbulb

thumb_up thumb_down -4

this kid named terry stockton lives in craig beach ohio is gay

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Just finished taking a huge $hit, wiped my ass, then realized I wasn't done.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Neither has he....

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A blind man walks past a fish market, pauses, takes in a big sniff, and says, "Good morning ladies!" to the women walking by wearing too much perfume.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops