What happens when you shoot a bear and you kill it? It dies.

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Fool me once, shame on you Fool me twice, shame on me Fool me 3 times, oh now you're just being a jerk

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Four men were walking, and three of them walked into a bar. The fourth one ducked.

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hey i just met you and this is crazy i just had bath salts your face looks tasty!

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A. THERE'S SOMETHING ON YOUR FACE B. WHAT?!? *PUNCH* A. IT WAS PAINNNNNNNNN

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A black, jew, mexican, and american are on the boat. The boat begins to sink. As an idea, they all throw stuff off the boat to try to stay afloat. The black throws off cotton, the jew throws off yamakas, and the mexican throws off sombreros. Then, the american throws off the mexican because there are too many in his country. The mexican drowns. The boat still sinks and the american goes to hell while the other go to heaven.

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how do you scare a mexican? You dress up as a bar of soap.

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So a man walks into a bar, asks for a beer, then drinks it. He then goes home expecting to have dinner with his wife and 2 kids. His wife smells his breath before that and asks him what happens. The men opens to his true and only love and tells her he's having a bad time at work. So they share a hug and talk about it. The man is then renewed, starts pulling up at his job and gets a promotion to general supervisor. He lives happily and watches his kids grow and become professionals. He then dies of a heart attack at the advanced age of 89 while he was watching his favorite TV show.

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How do you fit four gay on a bar stool? Divide the given space into fourths and convince them to share it accordingly. However, due to the fact that bar stools are significantly smaller than the average chair, and the likelihood that the bar has the resources to provide chairs for all of their customers, it would be highly unlikely that the men would choose be remain seated in such an inconvenient manner.

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What happened when the man killed a baby? He was captured by the authorities and sentenced to life in prison.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Sorry, wrong house.

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knock knock, Whos there ?? Johnny. Come in fish.

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Me-Whats long and hard and full of seaman Him-a submarine Me-No dumb ass a dick

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Q.why did the woman die A.she left the refrigerator door open then left the kitchen

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?" The horse says "I have Cancer."

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why was the pineapple bullied at school? cuz it was a pineapple duhhhhhhh

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Why wasn't the man able to see his son? He got run over by a train. Knock knock Who's there? The man. He was kidding about being run over.

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What do you call a muslim who is not a terrorist ? A muslim

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What is black, white, and red all over? Rape.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it does whatever the hell it wants to do!

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What is white on the inside and red on the outside? An apple.

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a gay couple walks into a bar and get a drink

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Why didn't the man have a vagina? Trick Question. Everybody has a vagina.

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What's worse than being short? Being a Tutsi in 1994.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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