Robocop and T-800 argue over who can run the fastest, Robocop claims he is the fastest, while T-800 says that he is the fastest. To settle things once and for all, they start a race. At first T-800 seems to be leading Then the T-800 is leading by a great distance. moments later the T-800 has a huge lead. But then suddenly, without any warning, the race shifts! T-800 is now leading only by a great distance! Yet in a amazing, and completely unexpected plot-twist. T-800 wins! Moral: :O

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What would you do for a Klondike bar? I'd go all the way to the store and buy one.

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Why did the boy die? He had cancer.

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An Indian child is born with three arms. After being ridiculed his whole life he kills himself at age 19.

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whats worse than being raped by a random stranger getting raped by your uncle

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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Did you hear about the guy that dropped the soap in prison? He apparently gripped it a bit too tightly causing it to slip out of his hands, but managed to pick it up promptly and finish showering with no further incidence.

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You know what's really funny? Cancer What's funnier than that? The Holocaust Even funnier? Charlie Sheen

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Can Helen Keller keep a secret? No, she didn't hear it in the first place

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what do u get when two cars collide... a bunch of mexican

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What does an Ethiopian hula-hoop with? A Cheerios JimBoto

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What do you call a cow with no legs? A leg-less cow

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What did the diabetic boy with Celiac get for christmas? A gift from his loving parents.

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Why did the family have no Christmas tree this year? Because they are Jewish.

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Q: why was the girl so dumb A: her teacher was a blond

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Dad: sussy, do you know how you were made? Sussy: No, how? Dad: With this DICK!!

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Two cows are in a field. Suddenly, from behind a bush, a rabbit leaps out and runs away. Martin was a lonely man

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a korean man with no legs sits on a porch. He has no legs so it's considered standing

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Roses are red Violets are blue This poem is random Microwave

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Knock knock. Who's there? Shut up.

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What do cats eat for breakfast? Cat food.

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Jimmy and Ted are racing each other at the end ov the street. Jimmy is taller and thinner but Ted has more endurance. Who wins the race? A: the drunk driver

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There's a black, afghan, and a rhabi. Which one is Obama?

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Why was the Mexican in pain? Someone hit him with a frying pan 5 times across the face.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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