- Anti Joke

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? It's hard to say, as this number depends on a large number of factors including the average area covered by one lick, the pH of saliva, the solubility of Tootsie Pops, the temperature of both the saliva and the Tootsie Pop, and the amount of saliva deposited on the Tootsie Pop after each lick. This is not to mention all the manufacturing irregularities that may occur during production, and varying tongue shapes and solvency properties of saliva.

So in Jimmy's school if u are misbehaving u are asked to get out of the room. Jimmy was in science, and he was throwing paper a bunch. Then his science teacher says, "Jimmy, do u wanna go out?" Jimmy replies "No thanks, I'm 14 and i have a girlfriend." That's how Jimmy got detention.

Knock knock! who's there? Excuse me sir can I have a moment to talk to you about our lord and savior Jesus Christ?

How many Alzheimer patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? To get to the other side.

What battle did Napoleon die in? His last one.

How do you give a women more freedom? Shoot her in the face with a shotgun.

What did the man say to the woman he was in love with? Sure, I understand and I'm okay with being just friends.

A guy walks into a bar. He has a couple beers, gets in his car and goes home. He got arrested on the way because it is illegal to drink and drive.

Whats he difference between a rock and a dead baby? I'm not spemding the rest of my natural life in an insane asylum for eating a rock!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

What's flying and eats rocks? A flying rock eater

if a fat man in a red suit puts you in a bag at night. its not santa your getting raped

Why should people with Alzheimer's not tell jokes? To get to the other side.

Your mommas so fat, that she's really big.

How many chairs does it take to screw a lightbulb? One, if you have enough lube.

Why didn't the blonde eat bacon? She was Jewish, and it was against her religion.

Why was the little girl crying? Her parents got divorced yesterday.

in soviet russia, cow milks you

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a load of bread.

What does a dyslexic person do on sundays? Goes to church to pray to Dog

I like to use vasoline during sex. I put it on the doorknob so she can't escape.

A baby seal walks into a club.

there is a mexican and a black guy in the back of a car, who is driving? The cop

What did paul say to bill? "Hi, I'm Paul"

When someone throws a rock at you What do you say? A:Oww