Q. What's smarter then the smartest woman in the world? A. A retarded seal, or pretty much anything else.

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Q: What's long and gray and kills people? A: A gas pipe.

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What did the boy say during his math test? Nothing, talking during a test is prohibited.

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Q.Why was the man so fat A. because he had to much to eat

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Why is it pointless to brutally kill and dismember a Japanese man? You'd be satisfying his sexual fetish.

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a little boy takes his lacrosse stick to his mom and says "hey mom this is bob" the mom says "hi bob" and she says to her son "does bob say hi back?" and the boy says "no mom. hes a lacrosse stick."

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How do you get really high at home? You climb a ladder

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Howdid we get copper piping we put a Pennie between two Jules

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Mr.Green walks into the class. He is alone with no wife and no kids and suffers from depression. His salary is below average and he can't pay the rent this week so he'll probably get evicted. He has aids. He will die in 2 weeks.

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A man works at a brick factory. He is told by his boss that if he is to steal any brick from the factory, he will be sacked. But every day the man steals one brick and puts it in his lunch box to take home and is not caught. One day he has enough bricks to build a house, and he says "When I build this house there will be none left over". The house is now built and while the man is taking a look around he stubs his toe on something, he looks down to see a brick and he sighs, picks up the brick and throws it in the air. There are two pilots driving a plane, one has a dog and one has a wardrobe. One pilot says to the other "I don't particularly like dogs" then the other pilot says to him "I don't really like wardrobes". They then make an agreement and throw both the wardrobe and the dog out the window. Five minutes later one pilot looks out the window out onto the plane wing, and guess what he sees? A brick.

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What did the Ginger get for Christmas? A: a soul

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being in an abusive relationship.

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What's gay and nobody likes? Ryan's combover

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was the most direct path to his destination.

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What do you call a black guy driving a plane? A co-pilot

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Why is this room orange? Because I painted it orange. You didn't paint it; my mom painted it.

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Q: What game will Helen Keller always win? A: Marco Polo. She is a fast swimmer.

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Sometimes when you drink sperm you choke

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What do you call a muslim who is not a terrorist ? A muslim

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you suck your own dick.

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I went to the local RSPCA office today....it's tiny, you couldnt swing a cat in it.

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Hitler arrives at his neighbor's barmitzfah... fashionably late.

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I hate it when I try to put my gun on safety but I accidentally shoot u a school full of kid.

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What happens when a black guy roles over a speed-bump? I don't know. I have never tried it

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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