A zucchini is walking down the street, when he spots a cucumber club on his left hand side. Having nothing else to do he decides to walk in. When he walks into the club all of the cucumbers stop and stare at this strange being in their club. Finally, after having one too many drinks, one cucumber decides that this ridiculousness has gone on long enough and it is up to him to say something, so he goes up to the zucchini and says, "Hey buddy, what's your problem, clearly you are in a cucumber club and you're a zucchini." The zucchini just looks at him, puzzled, and responds " A cucumber club? I thought this was a ucumber club!!!!!"... It's funny because zucchinis are dyslexic.

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you're mommas so fat that her doctor says she is morbitly obese and may die of a heart failure later in life

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A doctor walks out of the delivery room and relieves A nervous father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happiness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

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Whats the difference between a black man and a paraplegic? A paraplegic doesn't walk out on his family

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What does a joke and an anti-joke have in common? Nothing, since "anti-" refers to the opposite of the word that it is modifying.

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How do you scare a Jew Hold your lighter up and blow out the flame and I've toward him real slowly and see how much drama he'll cause

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why did the chicken cross the road? cause kade touches himself at night

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Why couldn't the kitten drink its milk? Because his face was stapled to the wall.

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A man walks into a bar. He says "ouch".

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What's white, black and can't fit through a man hole? A nun with a spear in their head

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What do you call a dick with blonde hair? Joffrey Baratheon.

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"Imagine a World Without Free Knowledge" -I'm not imagining, thanks Wikipedia!

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Girl 1- why was 6 afraid of 7? dog- ..................................(doesn't say anything because dogs can't ruff)

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He had no distinguishing characteristics whatsoever.

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Q. What do you call cheese that's not yours? A. Stolen, you're under arrest.

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What is Abraham Lincoln's favorite website? Wikipedia. It's very informative. On second thought though, the Internet had not been invented yet back in his time.

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Who is the dumbest person on the entire internet? Shortpoet-GTD

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Why did the plane crash into the mountain? The Pilot was a tomato

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Why did they bury the firefighter behind the hill? Because he was dead.

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nena. nerna. neener. neezie. nena.

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Baby Seal walks into a club.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? to get to your house KNOCK KNOCK who's there? da chicken

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why did rosa parks get moved to the back of the bus? she didnt call shotgun

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A black man and a mexican man are in a car. Who is driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. The mexican, Alex, had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. Rain had suddenly come upon them and a passing off-duty police officer had picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful rest of their trip. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months after their return John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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