Why wasn't the man able to see his son? He got run over by a train. Knock knock Who's there? The man. He was kidding about being run over.

How did Bob survive the plane crash? He didn't

Why couldn't Suzie ride the swings? She got hit by a refrigerator.

What do you call a partially deaf obese man? Anything you want, it's unlikely that he'll hear you. If he does manage to catch what you said, your chances of outrunning him are very good considering that he's likely to tire before you, unless you're overweight yourself of course. If this is the case then perhaps you should hit the gym, obesity is a growing problem in the Western world and greatly increases your chance of heart disease and/or diabetes.

Why did the man die? He helped others before placing his own oxygen mask on.

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, All you HATERS of Bieber, Go sick your mother.

How do we know that Adam was white? We don't. The Bible doesn't specify the race or etnicity of either Adam or Eve.

What did one wall say to the other? Nothing. Walls can't talk.

What is white on the inside and red on the outside? An apple.

why was the pineapple bullied at school? cuz it was a pineapple duhhhhhhh

Did u hear about the fire at the circus? 12 people died.

How many Alzheimer patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? To get to the other side.

A guy walks into a bar. He has a couple beers, gets in his car and goes home. He got arrested on the way because it is illegal to drink and drive.

How do you give a women more freedom? Shoot her in the face with a shotgun.

What battle did Napoleon die in? His last one.

Whats he difference between a rock and a dead baby? I'm not spemding the rest of my natural life in an insane asylum for eating a rock!

What did the man say to the woman he was in love with? Sure, I understand and I'm okay with being just friends.

What did the black man buy at the store? Nothing he has no money

What do you get when you stab a four year old in the chest 57 times A dead body

What do you call a black priest? A black priest

What if the rest of you value something wrong?

Roses are red, violets are blue you may not know this but I'm falling for you . <3

If Chuck Norris had five dollars and YOU had five dollars, he could still punch you in the face for free and get ten dollars out of it.

What did the gay kid in high school say? I'm straight.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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