Bill: My brother died on 9/11 Steve: Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that. Was he in one of the towers? Bill: Both. Steve: Both? Bill: He was in one tower when the first plane hit, so he ran over to warn everybody in the other tower and while he was in the other tower, he died of AIDS. Steve: LOL Bill: Quit your laughing, Steve, and make sweet, sweet love to me! Steve: It would be my pleasure! (While Bill and Steve made sweet, sweet love on that park bench, little did they know that a hundred miles away in a beautiful Los Angeles home, actor Jeff Goldblum was making himself a turkey sandwich...not too much mayo...just the way he likes it.)

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If life gives you lemons, steal the declaration of independance and use the lemons and a hair dryer to reveal the numbers on the back. Then enbark on an epic journey that ends with the discovery of the templars treasure. Lastly, use the money you earned to buy some lemons and make some lemonade.

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What do you call 99 lawyers in a car going off a cliff with no driver and another lawyer running in the other direction? A dick move.

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Whats an Anti Joke

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Vicky is my best friend.

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Wendy went for a walk every day in the forest. Why not today? She was shot yesterday

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what is a bike without wheels? not a bike.

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Why did the man reach for his gun? Because he wanted to kill someone.

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"Penis, penis, penis..." says Chase. That is all he likes and he fondles horse testes.

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What did the doctor say to the camel with no hump? You're a horse.

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Did you hear about the Blonde who fell off a cliff You Have? Oh Ok, Have a nice day

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Little Davie was a kid with no arms and legs and one day his friends Came to his house and knocked on the door and asked for little Davie And asked if he wanted to come play baseball..Little Davie replied "I'd Love to but I have no arms or legs" his friends say we know that..We were Just needing a second base..

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whats the difference between 100 dead babies and a ferrari? the ferrari is not in my garage.

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What stands on the corner oof every major city at night? A cop

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What do you call a dead baby lying in the road? A Tragedy

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What did Einstein say to the blonde? 'What specific part of the theory don't you understand?'

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get off me you fat b*tch or i will mash you up like a potato

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A nuclear reactor explodes and all the waste are going straight out in the ocean. Sucks to be a fish.

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I like pancakes. I like pancakes. We have no pancakes

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A dog walks into a saloon and says "I'm lookin' for the man who shot my paw." The patrons are afraid of the talking dog.

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You know what is funny about r.ape? Nothing. It's horror

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What did the black kid get for christmas? A wii with duel contollers and a 2 year insurance for it incase it gets robbed or damaged

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A man walks into a doctors and says 'Doctor, Doctor, I have a bad stomach ache' Upon hearing this, the doctor writes the man a prescription for medication and wishes him a swift recovery.

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whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? getting stranded on an island with your best friend and realizing several days later that you will have to eat him to survive. hours after eating your friend a boat saves you and now have to live the rest of your life knowing you ate somebody.................... oh and the Holocaust

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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